Although I am very sociable and an extrovert, I’m slowly becoming an introvert. In a large setting, I used to be the one chatting up a storm. Granted I’m still amongst the crowd, I’ve managed to mentally tune them out. I’ve become much more of an observer than the one who’s always engaged. For a very long time now (years I would say), I’ve felt myself drift away from a lot of people, and I’m sure they know it. While I considered myself to have wandered off, God said He actually shifted me from the group to a table for two; me and Him. He had to take me away from the chaos and constant noise of the things that were happening, to prepare me for the things that are about to happen to me and through me. I thought, “Oh no, people are going to think I’m acting different,” not realizing God had made me different. I make no admission that I’m better than anyone, but sometimes you can be better than a situation, and when He sees that you are, God removes you.
I used to love gossip, not just talking it but sharing it. I used to love giving people a “piece of my mind,” until it left me with no peace of mind. I used to love spending time with certain people, but I also really love and enjoy the time I have without them. As I grow, I’m seeing it’s become more of just me and less of them. I know it’s all for a reason and for some of them, we’ve come to the end of our season. I know everyone is probably not a fan of the “new me,” but I am. I love that I’ve changed. Besides, people should change, so stop expecting them not to. I love my growth and I also love the fact that, it’s just been me and God. My relationship with Him has gotten stronger, my faith has persevered, and I’ve become much better had it not been for Him leading me away. I’ll admit, although He’s never left me alone, there were times I’ve felt lonely. However, I knew it would be this way, especially when I agreed to live more for Him.
As a person who’s used to being around so many people, God is preparing me to get used to it just being me. Many people are not happy that He took me from where I was (with them) nor are they happy with where I’m going. I understand they’re hurt, but they need to understand it’s my journey and there’s a reason God’s not allowing them on it.
Some days it’s just going to be you and God, and then just you. You’ve got to be okay with that.