I’m making it

I thought things were tough, until I realized the strength of my shoulders. It’s amazing the weight they can withstand, even when I’m unable to. No matter how much pressure is applied, they never lose their form. I used to hate my shoulders, because of how broad they are. Now, I understand the reason for that. It was meant to not only bear my problems, but that of others. I don’t care how heavy they get, I’m always adding things to them, because I know what I can handle, others can’t. At times, I don’t know how I’m making it, but by the grace of God, I am.

A few days ago, one of my Mentee’s called me crying, because she didn’t know if she was going to “make it or not”. She has a Bachelors degree, but can’t find a job in her field, and the store she’s worked at for over five years, has kept her in the same position, store clerk. “Life is so unfair, Ms. B. I don’t see why I even try, when things are not going my way.” I laughed, not at her situation, but because she sounded just like me. In spite of everything that’s happened to her, I asked, “What has kept you going this far?” She replied, “My faith.” Then I replied, “Keep it, because it’s what’s going to carry you through.”

No matter how difficult things get, grab hold of something, and don’t let go!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Deetra La’Rue

Customized

When I’d look at certain people, I used to covet the things they had. Whether it be their “picture perfect” marriage, kids, or “fancy” lifestyle, I wanted it. However, no matter how much I wanted it, I couldn’t have what was theirs. Even if it were given to me, it’d never fit, because it wasn’t made for me. Instead of desiring to be them, I prayed to God, because I knew He’d give me the desires of my heart. The only thing I needed to do, was what for it. Looking back, the picture they painted was pretty, but their life was no doubt ugly.

Sometimes, I sit and laugh to myself, because I realized, it wasn’t their life I was after. What I was really after, was a “filter”, because who knows what things really looked like, when the mask came off. Honestly, I wouldn’t have wanted to be there to see it. Besides, I’m too afraid to see what my life could’ve possibly been. Eventually, I stopped coveting what they had, because I know what I have coming is far greater, and it’s customized solely for me.

Don’t settle for what someone else has, because yours is so much better!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Deetra La’Rue

Look up

When you’re feeling down, look up.
When you can’t see a way out of no way, look up.
When you’ve got no where to turn, look up.
When things get hard, look up.
When you need answers, look up.
When you need help, look up.
When you need comfort, look up.
When you need God, look up!

It doesn’t matter what’s going on in your life, don’t let it get the best of you. Look to God. He can do anything!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Deetra La’Rue

In the process

I think I can speak for the majority, when I say that waiting is probably one of the most difficult things for people to do. I don’t know what it is about time, that makes people want to throw in the towel and quit. Although time plays a role in one’s impatience, I believe where most of the issues lie, are often in the process. Hypothetically speaking, I’m building my dream home. After meeting with the contractor, going over the blueprint, and obtaining permits, she tells me I’d have to wait at least 10-12 months, before I can move in. “Wow! Why such a long time, I ask?” She replies, “Your house is a customized build, so it’s going to take a little longer than usual, to give you everything you want.” I was puzzled, but understood. Besides, I didn’t have any knowledge of what it took to build a house, so how could I argue?

Although I’m not satisfied with the wait time, I am pleased to know, in just a years’ time, I’ll be moving into the house of my dreams. Months into the construction, the frequent updates I had received, where not given often enough. Every time I questioned anything, I was always directed to someone else. After awhile, not only was I extremely confused and angry, I was upset, because I had no clue what was going on, nor did I have control of the situation. At that point, I wanted to severe ties, take my losses, and throw in the towel and quit. I had prayed to God for years for this home, and He promised He’d give it to me, so why was this happening? I was so frustrated! It wasn’t the fact that construction was taking too long, it was because I didn’t know where I was in the process. Suddenly, my dreams seemed so out of reach, that I couldn’t even see them anymore.

I’ve been praying and waiting for a multi-million dollar book deal (and I’m going to get it!). It’s taking me years to get it, but I haven’t given up hope, because I know it’s coming. What I don’t know, is where I am in the process of receiving it. Am I close? Still far away? Who knows, and that’s the frustrating part! The thing I’m met with now is, do I continue to wait for it come, or give up on the idea of it altogether? Obviously, I’ve chosen to be patient and wait, and I wish others would have too. Even though the wait is long and the process is filled with uncertainty, the process is what’s going to lead to your destiny, but you must endure it, in order to get to it. Look at it this way, if you forfeit the process, you forfeit your dreams.

Keep dreaming. Keep waiting. Keep trusting the process!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Deetra La’Rue

Hurting to heal

I love God! I know, shocker. Obviously, I was being facetious, but my relationship with God hasn’t always been “that great.” One of the biggest influences of that, has been the things I’ve gone through. Most of which were pretty bad, but somehow I was able to make it through, even though I didn’t want to be in it to begin with. For that reason alone, I used to be very angry and resentful towards God. I often questioned how can someone who says they love me, sit back and watch me suffer? Especially, when it was within His power to change my situation. However, I continued to hurt, while resenting Him still. This went on for years, and things begin to look up for me, only to fall apart again. Like an elevator, I’d go up and down. Up and down. Up and down, until I was down and couldn’t seem to get back up. It was one thing right after the next, and things had gotten so bad, I couldn’t look for the positives, because I always expected the negatives.

There’s no way God could be with me, because it felt like He had left me. Not only was I hurting, but I was hurting alone. “God, you promised. You said you’d never leave me nor forsake me, yet I’m going through this by myself. Of all people in the world, why did you choose me? Why am I in pain?” He responded, “It’s all apart of my plan. You might not understand it, but your hurt is going to help others heal.” Everything I’ve gone through was not wasted. I had to go through what I did, so I could help someone else get through their pain. I’ve come to the realization that things were never about me, but always about them. Did I like it? No, but it made me change my perspective of God and drew me closer than ever to Him. This journey hasn’t been easy, but knowing my pain and suffering is only for a little while, makes it a little easier to continue on, instead of giving up.

Remember, everything that involves you, isn’t always about you!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Deetra La’Rue

They forgot

Sometimes, I feel imprisoned like Joseph, waiting and hoping someone will remember me. It can be pretty aggravating when you’re everything to everyone, and they can’t be what you need. People will use and abuse you to get what they want, and when you bail them out, they’ll promise to pay you back later, only for later to never come. I’ve always proclaimed that me helping someone to win, won’t cause me to lose. Yet, I’ve had people in power, not help me, because they were afraid I’d surpass them. Instead of trying to raise me up, they’ve tried to keep me down. I don’t know if I’ve made mention of this before, but a couple of years ago, I was promised a wonderful speaking opportunity. It would have been my biggest event, not to mention my debut. When the time came for this person to make good on their promise, suddenly, “they forgot.”

To make matters worse instead of making them right, I never got the opportunity, nor did they make mention of it again. Disappointed would be an understatement, and p*ssed was more like it, but I continued to move forward. Although they proclaimed to have forgotten, I didn’t. Unbeknownst to me, I was offered the opportunity I was indeed waiting for. I was invited to speak to underrepresented/underprivileged students at a high school in Alabama. Not only did they invite me to speak, they paid me, bought dozens of copies of my book, held a book signing, and THEN treated me to lunch. I was so overwhelmed by the opportunity, but not more than when I showed up. I was asked to speak to students in the 9th grade level, but when I arrived, I ended up speaking to the entire student population, 354 students to be exact. I was so happy, blessed and elated, because although they didn’t make good on their promise, God did.

They might have forgotten me, but God didn’t. That was one of the highlights of my life and career. Since then, I’ve continued to acquire speaking engagements, and not one time, did any of them forget me.

People will forget you, but God won’t!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Deetra La’Rue

Now, tomorrow, or next week

Where are all my procrastinators at? I wish you all could see how fast and high I raised my hand. For a woman that’s always emphasizing the importance of time, I sure know how to mismanage mine. I’m sure I’m not alone, but I have a terrible habitat of setting things to the side, while proclaiming I have the time to do it later. “Oh, I’ll get to it tomorrow.” Next thing I know, tomorrow turns into next week. Procrastination is probably one of the most unhealthy habitats one can adopt. I don’t know which is worse, putting something of importance to the wayside, or never getting around to it. Either one, whatever you need to do, do it now, because tomorrow is not promised, and neither is next week!

Do yourself a favor, and hold yourself accountable!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Deetra La’Rue

Stop the bleeding

I love what I do, but I also love when I’m not doing it. Writing books is a tedious and long process, that requires a lot of work, and almost all of your time. For the most part, I have a schedule of the days and allotted time I give myself to write. Once I’m at the stopping point for the day, I just can’t seem to stop going. I’m very motivated and highly driven, so I don’t know if I should attribute that to me being an over-achiever, a perfectionist or straight up work-a-holic. Whichever I am, it doesn’t matter, because I am having a hard time trying to stop the bleeding. Writing always spill over into other things that I’m supposed to be doing, but I make up for it by saying things like, “I’ll get to it tomorrow, and I’ll just add extra time so I can do it.” Yea, time that I don’t have! Yet and still, I continue to “rob Peter to pay Paul”.

Writing is everything to me, and I’ve somehow managed to let it take over me. To say I’m addicted would be an understatement. To say I’ve got to work better on my time management is a true statement. Fortunately for me, I’m single and don’t have any responsibilities, other than myself. On the other hand, if someone depended on me, I’d wonder if they really could, considering I have a lot going on. However, I’m starting to realize I don’t need a lot on my plate to feel satisfied. As a self-proclaimed Superwoman, I convinced myself there was nothing I couldn’t do. As with any powerful person, I did it all, because I believed I was invincible. To a certain degree, I still feel that way. What I also feel is terrible, because of my neglectful ways.

Many of you are probably CEO’s, Entrepreneurs, business women/men, parents, spouses and so much more. You work more than your typical 9-5, and can’t remember what a 40hr work week looks like. No doubt you’re overwhelmed, overworked and on the verge of blowing a fuse, because there’s so much to do, with little time to do it. So, you start staying late to work, because you’ll just grab something to eat on the way home, while your family is waiting for you to come home for dinner. Your kids have important events at school, but you can afford to miss a game or two. Besides, mommy (or daddy) is there. You bring your work home, only to infringe upon family time, and you wonder why your marriage is falling a part, and your kids are distant. Perhaps, it’s because you’ve distanced yourself from them. Remember, your family will be there, even when your work isn’t.

You don’t have to be a superhero. Just prioritize and make time for what’s “super” important to you, your family.

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Deetra La’Rue

Bad Address

“You have the power over your situation”, is a commonly used phrase, yet it’s also the absolute truth. For many years, I’ve allowed certain individuals to set the tone for my life, and ideally thought it was where I was meant to be. No matter who or what it involved, I chose to take up permanent residency in a place someone put me, even when I didn’t want to stay. Sadly, I lived in that spot for so long, that I thought I’d never “move out of the area” of hopelessness. Things had always been that way, and I just didn’t see them getting any better. I was wrong! Things did improve, and so did I. When I re-took charge of my life and power over my situation, I gave immediate notice that I was leaving that bad address, and never returning!

I don’t know who or where your strength comes from, but draw from it, and withdraw yourself from bad situations. You don’t have to stay anywhere you don’t want to. Please stop allowing people to serve as your “landlord”, because you are not their tenant!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Deetra La’Rue

The Refinery

A few weeks ago, I was binge watching sermons and wig reviews on YouTube, when a suggested video was waiting in the queue for me to view next. “How to make an engagement ring” was its title, yet I was trying to figure out what did that have to do with wigs and the word of God. Normally, videos are suggested to you based upon what you are watching or have watched. Again, I didn’t understand the logic for it, nor was I intrigued or interested in learning how to make an engagement ring. Nonetheless, I clicked on it. Shortly into watching the tutorial, I begin to eat my words. It was amazing to see a piece of tarnished metal morph into an exquisitely beautiful, diamond ring. I sat in awe and astonishment, because I had just watched how a man was able to take nothing, and turn it into something spectacular. I immediately thought, “Wow, that sounds just like God.”

I suddenly realized that, although the video had no correlation to hair and Theology, it was no coincidence that I was watching it. I was reminded that, just as a ring goes through a refinery process, so do we. Initially, we start out rough and tarnished, but over time, we are purified and transformed into something absolutely breathtaking. All of the impurities from the trials and tribulations we’ve gone through are stripped and shaped into great things, such as wealth, strength, courage, power and so much more. However, in order for us to get that something, we’ve got to go through something. To everything, there’s a process. The question is, “Do you want to go through the process, or do you just want the results the process produced?” You want to be successful, but you don’t want to put in the work. You want to be a parent, but you don’t want the responsibility. You want to be a business owner, but you don’t want the “no’s”, “denials” and “delays”.

Get this, every time you say no to the process, you’re only delaying your progress!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Deetra La’Rue