Nothing to lose

Helping others win, is not going to cause you to lose. Any chance I get to help advance someone, I do it, because I want my extension to be the reason for their ascension. Then too, whatever is mine will be, so I don’t feel the need to keep people down, because I don’t want to see them come up or surpass me. We all could use a little elevation, without all the hating. I’m confident, because I know what I’ve got and just because I have it, doesn’t mean I can’t help others get it too. We’ve got to learn to support and uplift one another. I’m a firm believer that we all need to help someone progress, but understand your willingness to help won’t cause you to go backwards or fall. Success is not a secret, so if you’ve acquired it, share it with someone who’s only dreamed about it, because they feel it’s impossible to attain. You can show them what it looks like, but they’ll benefit more if you just TELL THEM. Besides, you’ve got nothing to lose!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Chaos in the stands

I love football! Every Saturday, I would be seated in the living room, watching and waiting for Alabama to take down their next victim. Aside from them being an outstanding team, one thing I noticed in particular, is the loyalty and love their fans have for them. It doesn’t matter who Alabama is up against or if they have to travel to another state to play, the fans will be there screaming in the stands. If they win the game or take a loss, the fans are screaming in the stands. If the weather is hot or extremely cold, the fans are screaming in the stands. If they secure the championship or get eliminated, the fans are STILL screaming in the stands. There are times you’re going to lose in life, find yourself in hot situations and weather a many of storms, but through it all, someone will always be screaming in the stands for you!

Surround yourself with people who always lift you up, regardless of how many times you fall down!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

$1.00

Being “supported” is very important to me. However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that a lot of times the ones we want to support us, either won’t, or make up a “few cents” in our $1.00. For a few weeks now, I’ve had the discussion with my Therapist about how bothersome I am when people don’t support me, especially when I make it a point to be there for them.

Every time I spoke of how many events where I’ve invited people, whether it be with my business, church or birthday parties , I’ve had little to no participation. As disappointed as I was, I kept inviting people, because I thought surely they’d show up for the next one. Let down after let down, I felt hurt and disrespected almost, because I always make a point to try and be there for others, especially during momentous times for them.

Rather than being disappointed again, I started to not advertise every “high in my life”, and just enjoy my success alone. However, in the midst of my “whining”, my Therapist said to me, “Dee, you have $1.00, and the people that supports you make up that one dollar. You’ve just got to figure out how much money they have in that one dollar. But, what I need you to understand is, the people you want to support you, probably have the least amount of money in the dollar. All that matters, is that you have support, regardless of who it comes from”.

Thomas Edison (lightbulb moment)! Her statement was so true, but at the same time, I kept saying, “but they should”! Her, response, “No they don’t”! Honestly, she was right! In fact, none of them had too. After that, my assignment was to sit down and count my change and figure out who made up my dollar. Although I didn’t like the fact that most of my “change” went to people outside of my family, I just accepted the fact that they were there for me, when they needed to be. Essentially, I couldn’t be mad at that!

People will disappoint you, based upon your expectations of them. However, you can’t expect those who are close to you or in your circle, be everything to you, as you have been to them. Again, it goes back to being okay with knowing that everybody won’t always be there for you, but when they are, just celebrate that!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue


Words are weapons too!

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”. I can still hear the chant echoed by my elementary school classmates. However, truth of the matter, words do hurt! A lot of power lie within the tongue, so when speaking to someone or about someone, use caution with your words.

I’m pretty sure we’ve all heard the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”. People need to understand that just because you have a negative thought or the right to “speak your mind”, doesn’t mean you should say whatever comes to mind. Some people are incredibly sensitive, and even the smallest thing you say, can offend them.

I used to be the type of person that “whatever came up, came out”, but when I realized how damaging my words were, I quickly did away with them. I wanted to use my words to inspire and be uplifting, not insulting. Besides, my careless use of words to retaliate against others temporarily made me feel better, but left them with everlasting pain.

Rather than keep people down with my words, I chose to raise them up instead of lowering them. I had to (eventually) learn that every action doesn’t require a reaction or rebuttal. So now, when people speak negatively towards me, I let them!

It took me a while to be able to take the high road, I’ll admit. I had to remember that hurt people, hurt people. However, don’t become one of those people! Always turn the other cheek and walk away! Be careful of your thoughts, because they turn into hurtful words and ultimately bad actions. Just think about it, if you have to ask yourself whether or not you should say something, or question if anyone would get offended, it’s best to just keep quiet!

Until next time Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

If you move, they’ll fall

I can remember as child, “testing my faith” (I didn’t realize that’s what it was back then), while playing a game with my acquaintances. I’d close my eyes and fall back, “trusting” (and praying like hell) that the person behind me would catch me. Just as I was falling back, it felt like I was inches away from the ground, but there would always be two arms to break my fall.

I often wondered what would happen if the person behind me, suddenly decided to move. Obviously, I’d fall and possibly get hurt. However, I was very fortunate to always have someone who “had my back”. Have you given any thought as to what would happen, if you “moved” and took a step back away from your family and friends?

Like me, I’m assuming they’d fall and become hurt. Although their pain would not be in the physical sense, nonetheless, they’d still get hurt. People are needy, and sometimes (more than we’d like to be) we’re the very ones they need. We lift them up, keep them encouraged, motivate them and support them….some of us, financially.

We began to question their motives and suddenly our natural instincts kicks in and tells us that we may be being taken advantage of, because we put out more than they pour in. But, how can they inpour anything into you, when they don’t feel as though they have anything to offer….and money is not what I’m speaking of.

If you’re anything like me, innately, you’re a very caring person and want to see the best in everyone, and the best for everyone. My students are my biggest and greatest examples, because everyday, they tug and pull on me until I beg them to save just a little bit of me, for me. Many of them have their reasons for requiring what seems like all of my attention, but none more than “Lisa” (obviously not her real name).

I see her just about everyday, and every time she comes into my office, she always has a “911”. I never understood how someone could need help all the time. However, I thanked God I wasn’t in her position, but in a position to be of help. Four months ago, “Lisa” came to support me at my first book signing, and after the fact, she came to me fragile and crying. I didn’t know the reason for her tears, nor did I question them. I just fell into routine, hugged her and told her “it was going to be alright”.

“Lisa” proceeded to tell me how “proud she was of me”, and as silly as I am, I laughed and told her, “that’s no reason to cry”. However, before the conversation ended, I was the one who needed the tissue. “Lisa” (who’s in her 50’s, by the way) told me “I was her role model and the reason she decided to stay in college. She continued by saying, out of all her family, I was her biggest supporter and the ONLY one who had her back”.

I was completely honored and happy, but most of all, disappointed in myself. All the times I questioned why she always came into my office, and the heavy breaths I let out when I saw her coming, suddenly were irrelevant. If anything, I felt bad and wondered what would’ve happened had I decided to “step back”. Would she still be in school? Who knows, but what I do know is, had I “moved, she would’ve fallen”.

You maybe in a position where you’re more helpful to someone than they are to you. Tired, used and overextended is how you maybe feeling, but do know, it’s all for a reason, and the reason is simple; THEY NEED YOU! It may take them some time (a little more than you anticipate) to get to the point where you can “step back and they not fall”, but whatever you do, don’t desert them when they need you the most!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Let’s TALK!

When was the last time you’ve had a conversation? 

A lot of times we keep quiet and reserve our opinions, because we don’t want to offend anyone, especially those we love. However, there comes a point in our lives where we have to have some “uncomfortable conversations” with people, although they aren’t easy to initiate.  The things we say are purely for motivational purposes, and although it may sting, it’s what’s needed most. Don’t allow the preservation of one’s feelings to stop you from helping someone who can benefit from your life experiences, wisdom or knowledge, especially if they are struggling with issues you can identify with. Sure, no one wants to be the “bad guy”, but what “good” are you, if you don’t open up your mouth and TALK!

When I wrote this book, I was fearful of what others might say, think, or how they would perceive me even, but I knew I had a lot of things to get off my chest! To be honest, anytime I write, my mind starts to race and wonder if people would like what I say, or hate me for it.  I’ve always been sort of a “people pleaser”, because I just didn’t want to endure the backlash from people, when I didn’t give them their way.  However, as I’ve matured, I don’t focus a whole lot on the things people say about me or how they view me, because I know those are their feelings, and I don’t ever try to make them mine. 

 I know a lot of people may feel like they “don’t know me”, although they know me (if that makes sense), but this book will give them a more in-depth look at me, my life and how I’m able to go on as I do.  Let’s TALK! is basically a collection of different conversations that I have with my readers, in regards to colorism, friendships, walking in God’s purpose, instead of your own, and so forth.  I always tell people, if you are looking for the perfect book on how to be the best YOU possible, then this book is for you.  If not for you, then maybe someone else who is experiencing some tough times, and need reassurance that everything is going to be okay. 

Please support me and purchase a copy (or two) of my book, Let’s TALK! It’s only $16.95 and it’ll be one of the best investments you’ve ever made, and greatest gift you’ve ever given! You can purchase from my website today (see right hand side panel)!! As always, I hope this book does the same for you, as it did for me….give me the courage to do, feel and be anything I always wanted to be, regardless of what others think of me! 

Writefully yours, 

Deetra La’Rue