I would care, but this doesn’t involve me!

“Oh my gosh, they’re talking about me”, are the words circulating around in my head, as I walk past my worst enemies. More times than I’d like to admit, I’ve always cared about what others thought of me. “What are they thinking”? What are they saying”? For a long time, I imprisoned myself to those thoughts, and the idea that people simply didn’t like me.

Now, the latter is true, but for the most part, I had a pretty good bunch of people who did. I’m not sure why I was so pressed about others opinion of me, when it was simply that…their opinion. However, try telling that to a impoverished 14-year-old, who wore hand-me-downs, was made fun of constantly, and learned early on the definition of “the struggle is real”.

Sometimes, embarrassed to say, I was that girl! This self-sabotage continued for years, and only seemed to get worse. I can remember getting all my hair cut off and going natural, April of 2018. I was so excited, because I had been threatening myself with doing the “big chop” for so long. After I finally mustered up the courage to do it, suddenly I began to have second thoughts.

It was not that I was afraid of having no hair, but I was afraid of the things people would say and their reaction. Once again, I was bound by others thoughts and opinions of me. Man! What a sad way to waste your life! I couldn’t enjoy the moment of being free from all the negative things that I felt was associated with my hair, because I was too busy running to the hair store trying to find a wig to cover up.

To be honest, covering up and masking is what I have been doing for majority of my life. Not wanting to appear fazed or affected by people’s feelings towards me, I would wear a smile and portray this “bad *** persona”, that I didn’t care how people felt about me. Let me tell you, that was wearing me out! For awhile, I conceded, but when I realized I had given them power over me, I did what I needed to do to take it back!

I started tuning people out, and would often tell myself, “Those are their feelings, so you don’t have to own them”. Ultimately, when I turned a deaf ear and blind eye, they or what they said, didn’t matter to me anymore. Besides, I couldn’t “hear or see” them anyway. In life, you’ll have bullies, haters and people who simply talk for no reason at all. They’ll find any reason to pick you a part, because they don’t like themselves.

Sadly, they’ll ostracize you and enlarge your “problems” for the world to see, while minimizing theirs. It’s not anything you’ve done wrong to them, but sometimes, people are mean, because they see something in you that they want, but don’t have. Now, when I’m met with other’s thoughts and negative feelings of me, I say to myself, “I would care, but this doesn’t involve me”!

Until next my Note takers,

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Words are weapons too!

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”. I can still hear the chant echoed by my elementary school classmates. However, truth of the matter, words do hurt! A lot of power lie within the tongue, so when speaking to someone or about someone, use caution with your words.

I’m pretty sure we’ve all heard the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”. People need to understand that just because you have a negative thought or the right to “speak your mind”, doesn’t mean you should say whatever comes to mind. Some people are incredibly sensitive, and even the smallest thing you say, can offend them.

I used to be the type of person that “whatever came up, came out”, but when I realized how damaging my words were, I quickly did away with them. I wanted to use my words to inspire and be uplifting, not insulting. Besides, my careless use of words to retaliate against others temporarily made me feel better, but left them with everlasting pain.

Rather than keep people down with my words, I chose to raise them up instead of lowering them. I had to (eventually) learn that every action doesn’t require a reaction or rebuttal. So now, when people speak negatively towards me, I let them!

It took me a while to be able to take the high road, I’ll admit. I had to remember that hurt people, hurt people. However, don’t become one of those people! Always turn the other cheek and walk away! Be careful of your thoughts, because they turn into hurtful words and ultimately bad actions. Just think about it, if you have to ask yourself whether or not you should say something, or question if anyone would get offended, it’s best to just keep quiet!

Until next time Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Let’s TALK!

When was the last time you’ve had a conversation? 

A lot of times we keep quiet and reserve our opinions, because we don’t want to offend anyone, especially those we love. However, there comes a point in our lives where we have to have some “uncomfortable conversations” with people, although they aren’t easy to initiate.  The things we say are purely for motivational purposes, and although it may sting, it’s what’s needed most. Don’t allow the preservation of one’s feelings to stop you from helping someone who can benefit from your life experiences, wisdom or knowledge, especially if they are struggling with issues you can identify with. Sure, no one wants to be the “bad guy”, but what “good” are you, if you don’t open up your mouth and TALK!

When I wrote this book, I was fearful of what others might say, think, or how they would perceive me even, but I knew I had a lot of things to get off my chest! To be honest, anytime I write, my mind starts to race and wonder if people would like what I say, or hate me for it.  I’ve always been sort of a “people pleaser”, because I just didn’t want to endure the backlash from people, when I didn’t give them their way.  However, as I’ve matured, I don’t focus a whole lot on the things people say about me or how they view me, because I know those are their feelings, and I don’t ever try to make them mine. 

 I know a lot of people may feel like they “don’t know me”, although they know me (if that makes sense), but this book will give them a more in-depth look at me, my life and how I’m able to go on as I do.  Let’s TALK! is basically a collection of different conversations that I have with my readers, in regards to colorism, friendships, walking in God’s purpose, instead of your own, and so forth.  I always tell people, if you are looking for the perfect book on how to be the best YOU possible, then this book is for you.  If not for you, then maybe someone else who is experiencing some tough times, and need reassurance that everything is going to be okay. 

Please support me and purchase a copy (or two) of my book, Let’s TALK! It’s only $16.95 and it’ll be one of the best investments you’ve ever made, and greatest gift you’ve ever given! You can purchase from my website today (see right hand side panel)!! As always, I hope this book does the same for you, as it did for me….give me the courage to do, feel and be anything I always wanted to be, regardless of what others think of me! 

Writefully yours, 

Deetra La’Rue