I can remember as child, “testing my faith” (I didn’t realize that’s what it was back then), while playing a game with my acquaintances. I’d close my eyes and fall back, “trusting” (and praying like hell) that the person behind me would catch me. Just as I was falling back, it felt like I was inches away from the ground, but there would always be two arms to break my fall.
I often wondered what would happen if the person behind me, suddenly decided to move. Obviously, I’d fall and possibly get hurt. However, I was very fortunate to always have someone who “had my back”. Have you given any thought as to what would happen, if you “moved” and took a step back away from your family and friends?
Like me, I’m assuming they’d fall and become hurt. Although their pain would not be in the physical sense, nonetheless, they’d still get hurt. People are needy, and sometimes (more than we’d like to be) we’re the very ones they need. We lift them up, keep them encouraged, motivate them and support them….some of us, financially.
We began to question their motives and suddenly our natural instincts kicks in and tells us that we may be being taken advantage of, because we put out more than they pour in. But, how can they inpour anything into you, when they don’t feel as though they have anything to offer….and money is not what I’m speaking of.
If you’re anything like me, innately, you’re a very caring person and want to see the best in everyone, and the best for everyone. My students are my biggest and greatest examples, because everyday, they tug and pull on me until I beg them to save just a little bit of me, for me. Many of them have their reasons for requiring what seems like all of my attention, but none more than “Lisa” (obviously not her real name).
I see her just about everyday, and every time she comes into my office, she always has a “911”. I never understood how someone could need help all the time. However, I thanked God I wasn’t in her position, but in a position to be of help. Four months ago, “Lisa” came to support me at my first book signing, and after the fact, she came to me fragile and crying. I didn’t know the reason for her tears, nor did I question them. I just fell into routine, hugged her and told her “it was going to be alright”.
“Lisa” proceeded to tell me how “proud she was of me”, and as silly as I am, I laughed and told her, “that’s no reason to cry”. However, before the conversation ended, I was the one who needed the tissue. “Lisa” (who’s in her 50’s, by the way) told me “I was her role model and the reason she decided to stay in college. She continued by saying, out of all her family, I was her biggest supporter and the ONLY one who had her back”.
I was completely honored and happy, but most of all, disappointed in myself. All the times I questioned why she always came into my office, and the heavy breaths I let out when I saw her coming, suddenly were irrelevant. If anything, I felt bad and wondered what would’ve happened had I decided to “step back”. Would she still be in school? Who knows, but what I do know is, had I “moved, she would’ve fallen”.
You maybe in a position where you’re more helpful to someone than they are to you. Tired, used and overextended is how you maybe feeling, but do know, it’s all for a reason, and the reason is simple; THEY NEED YOU! It may take them some time (a little more than you anticipate) to get to the point where you can “step back and they not fall”, but whatever you do, don’t desert them when they need you the most!
Until next time my Note takers!
Writefully yours,
Deetra La’Rue
