You just gotta love it

As I was sitting in Starbucks writing on Sunday, one of my favorite Barista’s approached me and commented on my hair. For those of you who don’t know, I’m natural (no chemicals). She stated, “Oh my gosh, you took your braids out. I like your lil (little) afro”. I, however, wasn’t so enthused. I don’t necessarily love my hair, particularly the texture, because it can be a little “rough” at times. Clearly out of my comfort zone and slightly ashamed, she asked, “What? You don’t like your afro”? I replied, “No. I hate my hair, because I want it to be curly and it’s not”. “Oh wow”, was her reply, while looking shocked and slightly disturbed all at once.

She said, “Deetra, everybody’s hair is not going to be the same. However, you just gotta love yours the way it is”. She reiterated again, “You just gotta love it”, before smiling and walking away. I’m not going to lie, it made me feel bad, because one of the things that embodies me, actually bothered me. Even still, that night I went to bed checking the delivery date for a wig I had ordered hours earlier, because I was sure people at church and work, wouldn’t accept my natural hair too well. By morning, I remember getting ready for the day, while looking in the mirror trying to determine if I should wear a cap, or my hair as it is.

Then I realized, if I continue to conceal who I am, because I worry (constantly) about others opinion of me, then I was essentially saying, I valued their thoughts of me more, than I did my own. Having said that, I have been wig-less and weave-less for the past few days, and although I am slightly still uncomfortable, I realize that I’ve just gotta love it, regardless if others do or not. I am who I am because of God! Everything He does is intentional, and although I don’t have straight hair, I’m thankful that He made me and grateful for the hair He gave me! It’s mine, and I will LOVE it!

Be who you are! The only acceptance you need, is that of yourself!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

I feel good when I “feel good” about me

Everyday I try to give myself positive affirmations, because if I relied on others to do it for me, my self-esteem would be pretty much non-existent. I make sure I reassure myself that I am beautiful, good enough and more than worth the wait! To be totally honest, I don’t feel good, when I don’t “feel good” about me.

I’ve probably mentioned this a few times in past posts, but I used to look to others for validation or to reaffirm what I thought, I thought (no typo) about myself. However, when the validations weren’t pouring in, I started bleeding out. I felt hurt and offended almost, that nobody seemed to feel the way about me, the way I felt about me.  Am I making sense or causing confusion?

Whichever the case, I thought what I needed from them (whoever they were) was what I needed for me. Essentially speaking, no matter how many compliments I got, praises or “Amen”, it didn’t make me feel good, because I didn’t feel good about me. I know deep down inside, I have a lot of attributes and plenty to offer, but I had a hard time believing and seeing it.

Rather than throw another pity party for myself, my positive affirmations got stronger and so did I. I had to learn that I couldn’t rely on anyone to make me feel good about myself…..that’s my job! I couldn’t expect anyone to love me “for me” (not speaking in the context of who I am)……that’s my job! I couldn’t expect anyone to do anything for me, that I knew I needed to be doing for myself……again, that’s my job!

When I started to feel good about myself, overall, I felt good! When I let go of what I thought I needed from people or to hear from them, I felt even better! When I let go of the thought of letting go and “JUST LET GO”, I felt my absolute BEST! A handful of regrets later, I STILL feel good! I was so inspired to transfer what I had done for me to help others, that I created a “Positive Affirmation (I AM MORE THAN….) Board for my students.

On the board, there are blank balloons, and anytime they are feeling weighed down with something or someone, they are to write it on the balloon and thumb tack it on the board. In essence, they are releasing the balloon/s (the negatives) and giving themselves positive affirmation/reassurance that they are enough and “more than” whatever they write inside the balloons.

Have you “released” any balloons lately?

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue