Broken eggs

He hurt me, but this time I gave him permission
I never thought he’d take my fragile heart and twist it into every position
Except the one that intertwines his and mine together
But instead of love what I ended up getting
Was another storm to weather

Or could I? After all, I’d been in the rain for far too long
His hurtful words darkened my day
And is the reason the sun is gone

Far out of distance where it doesn’t shine any warmth into my life
When he wrecked my happiness he left me paralyzed
Wondering if I’d ever love right

Or wrong, because of the way he treated me
And ignored my presence although I was there
And despite me being only one finger touch away
Sadly, he didn’t care

Or bother to take advantage of my love
Because he was of afraid of the things to be said
Rather than speaking up and defending his feelings for me
He chose to be silent instead

Of helping me carry this heavy burden
He placed on my heart and head
And because I foolishly placed all my hopes in one basket
I’m left counting broken eggs

Never put too much ‘stock” into someone, because we all know how fast things “crash”.

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Helpless

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up
No matter how hard I try to stand
My mind is no longer in control of my body
And my heart is the new Chief-in-command

Playing in the field of love is a dangerous ground
And I’ve used all my ammunition
I pull out the white flag to end this war
But my heart refuses to listen

Instead it keeps beating and bleeding love
Fighting to the very end
Quitting is not an option and failure’s no choice
So it fights with every intent to win

Words are thrown like massive grenades
And there’s nowhere to run and hide
Although it’s strong and continues to beat on
Slowly it’s dying inside

The zeal it had is fading away
And my heart is losing its power
It begins to grow weak and is threatened by defeat
But continues to fight until the final hour

Suddenly it shuts down to the point of no return
Resuscitation or bringing it back to life
Hurt prevailed causing my heart to fail
Because it was too helpless to put up a fight

Love is always persistent, but sometimes, even it will “hurt” us!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Temporary Delight

Many of you don’t know that I am a Poet, and poetry is and always will be my first love! I enjoy writing books, but nothing warms my heart more than a free verse or rhyme. In fact, I have three unpublished Poetry books that I someday hope to get out. Until then, over the next week, I’ll be sharing with you some of MY favorite pieces that I’ve written (I’m aware that my poetry is subjective). I hope you enjoy them just as much as I did writing them!

For twenty-six years my love sat on display

and I watched as each person passed me by

Suddenly things changed, when he looked through the windowpane

and purchased the love no one wanted to buy

Like two small kids we linked up hands

and chased the other til we grew tired from all the fun

Like magnets our eyes met and we kissed without any regrets

as we laid marinating out in the sun

As the sun glared down and kissed our skin, we searched for the nearest shade

Rather than rest under the old oak tree, he sought refugee within a dark cave

Like trees during the winter solstice, his leaves began to change

and the love that lit his fire for four months, was slowing losing its flame

Not satisfied with his purchase, he went to the store demanding something be done

but there wasn’t anything that they could do, because of the store’s strict policy on “no refunds”

No matter how good the love made him feel, or the need to have it in his life

He grew tired and it was no longer wanted, because it had satisfied his temporary delight

No matter how much you love someone, make sure they feel the same way about you. If not, you’ll find yourself crying over something you thought was to “last forever”, when it was meant to be enjoyed for a “little while”.

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Clinging for strength

*In the wake of the 9 individuals who lost their lives in a plane crash on January 26, 2020, this post is dedicated to those who are still living in the dark, are lost or have lost a loved one, and are struggling to come to terms with their death*

I know what it’s like to be helpless and despondent, sitting in despair, hoping and praying to be saved. I’ve lived in some dangerously low valleys, and there were times I thought I’d drown, because I didn’t have anything or anyone to grab hold to. It was a struggle to stay above water, when I was surrounded by a sea of hurt and pain. I, too, know how you feel. I was literally fighting for survival, while weakened from life’s many torrents. Things became so dark and dreary, that I lost sight of hope, and the light at the end of the tunnel. Although that is in the past, the hurt still lingers on. I’m in a much better place now, but it took me days, weeks, months, and years even, to get where I am.

There are many people going through a pretty rough storm, wondering if they’ll ever see the sun again. Their heart is broken, and the thing that they lost, is the only thing that can mend it again. They’re in agony and pain and too weak to pick themselves up. They need help getting through whatever it is they’re enduring, so don’t walk away, because they’re clinging to you for strength.

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Finishing the puzzle

Have you ever met a woman that was so desperate for love, she gave up her entire being just for the corner of a man’s heart?  The old saying goes, “A piece of a man is better than no man”.  But, no man is worth having if he doesn’t add to a woman’s life, but instead takes away from her value.

At some point in her life, every woman has dreamt about her ideal man, planned her wedding and even picked out names for her unborn children (or maybe that’s just me). But to what extent would she be willing to go to get that “happy” ending?  Is losing her sense of identity worth the cost of being happy? 

Unfortunately, a lot of women become so caught up in the things that they want, that they neglect to take care of their own needs.  Rather than be patient and wait on the man that God has for us, we instead try to create him.  However, sometimes what we want is not necessarily what we may need. What we fail to realize is that you can be in a relationship with someone, but not have ownership of their heart. 

In other words, what good is it to have the key to a man’s heart, if it doesn’t unlock it?  No matter how hard we try to twist and turn the lock, it fails to open.  In more ways than one, relationships are a lot like puzzles.  We as women have all the pieces (signs), but are too afraid to put it together, because the whole idea of being finished (broken up) scares us, because there’s nothing left to do, but move on.

Rather than move on, we frantically check the box (hold on) hoping that maybe all of the pieces aren’t there.  Truth of the matter, they always were.  But, for some apparent reason, we can’t fathom the idea of being alone.  Immediately, we find fault and blame ourselves for the demise of our relationship, because of something we may or may not have done.  Therefore, we change ourselves and try to fit the description of what someone says we should be.

As a result, we ultimately end up not liking the person we’ve become.  While we were so busy finding love, we managed to lose ourselves in the process.  What’s even sadder is a man doesn’t realize he had a good woman until she’s gone.  Even then, he still doesn’t realize, because he never paid enough attention to even know she was there.  Besides, I don’t want a man whose ego is bigger than his heart.

He’ll never be able to love me, because he’s too busy loving himself. Truth be told, a woman should never fall for a man and expect him to pick her up, when he is the sole reason she is down.  Love is a beautiful thing, but it means nothing when you can’t feel it! Ladies, know your worth, but most importantly, know when to move on.

Until next time Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Strength in numbers: When women stick together!

“As women, we should always be connected to each other, because our chains are much stronger when linked together”. ~ Deetra La’Rue

Ever rode a bike and then you heard this “clink, clink clink” noise, only to look down and see that the chain had come apart? Were you able to keep riding or if you were anything like me, did you have to keep putting the chain back on the link in which it was connected to? What happened next? You probably started to ride again, until the chain fell apart. As long as the chain was detached from the bike, you weren’t able to do anything, right? Honestly, I feel that’s what women experience when we aren’t connected together. As long as there is a detachment from one another, we aren’t really able to accomplish all that we need, and we are exactly what the other needs. 

Bonds, friendships and camaraderie are important to me, especially amongst women.  A lot of times we are met with hate, dislike and rivalry with one another, when we’ve never met each other’s acquaintance.  We make our assumptions (often times they’re wrong), judgements and opinions, without a word of “hello” and no chance at a conversation. Why? Is it intimidation? Are we jealous or envious? I’m not sure, but what I am for certain of, is women need to stay connected to each other.  We’re all powerful in our own right, but when we stick together, we are indestructible!  We can accomplish so much more, if only we extended a hand to pull the other woman/sister up.

Two of the most profound things Mrs. Michelle Obama said that stuck with me is when she spoke at a 2009 Women’s State Department Women of Courage Awards.  She stated, “Women, we must stand up for ourselves. We must stand up for each other. We must stand up for justice for all”.  Secondly, at the 2012 DNC Convention, she stated, “When you’ve worked hard, and done well, and walked through that doorway of opportunity, you do not slam it shut behind you.  You reach back”. Have you ever thought what would happen if you decided to “reach back”? Your kind gesture and moment of selflessness could be the very thing someone else needs to bring them out of a bad situation, or possibly give them the motivation and drive they need to do something for themselves, or someone else, even.

There’s this big stigma that’s followed women for years, and it’s the fact that we are catty, combative, confrontational, and simply “don’t get along”.  I wouldn’t necessarily refer to myself as catty, but I’ve been combative and confrontational, to say the least.  However, my boldness and irregards to others feelings, damaged a few relationships I’ve had with some women. My get-with-you attitude caused hurt, dissension and discord amongst us, and the moment we became disconnected, our goals and agenda suffered, and the people we sought to help were affected, in a bad way.  As a result, I lost a few links in my chain, and even though I could’ve gone on to do things on my own, I feel we would’ve been more impactful and stronger had we stayed together. 

Sometimes it takes people seeing the “team”, before they can recognize individual players. Innately, I feel women are caring, nurturing, loving and giving people, and if you’d multiple that by ten, one-hundred or one-thousand even, there’s no telling what we can do! But, we must do it together! There’s strength in numbers, and we’re stronger when were together!

Until next time my “Note” takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Cinderella ain’t dead!

Keep dreaming….happy endings still come true! ~Deetra La’Rue

I’m a hopeless romantic, sometimes a little too hopeful, strung out on the idea of being in love.  There was a point in time in which I thought I was, but the idea quickly faded, soon after he did. I can remember experiencing what I thought to be my Prince Charming, however, he lacked the charm and was anything but royal. As a child, I’ve always been fond of fairytales, and found myself caught up in planning my own happy ending.  Cinderella and Ariel were two of my favorites to watch, but I didn’t like the fact that those Princesses didn’t look like me, in fact, none of them did. It wasn’t until I saw the Princess and the Frog, and finally realized that brown girls can be of royalty too!

I’ve been entangled in a couple of failed “situations”, in which I thought I had my knight and shining armor.  Even though they didn’t turn out as planned, I still raced to sleep at night. After my prayers and talk with God, I closed my eyes and watched the movie reel of my love life, but when I awakened, my fairy god-mother is nowhere to be found. But, I still continue to dream, because I know there is a man out there for me, and one day soon, I’m going to get my happy ending. I know that the cartoons and movies like to sell viewers what they call the “fantasy life”, because they think it’s the closest to what we’ll get to real.

Besides, they think a woman being “swept off her feet” is nothing but a figment of one’s imagination or just a really sweet “dream”. However, I know Kings and Queens do exist, and our significant other is waiting for the day we cross paths. Unfortunately for us, sometimes we allow our impatience to get the best of us, that we go seek the very thing or person, God says is supposed to find us. We’re exhausted, lonely, single and most of all, tired of watching others live happily ever after. Immediately, our thoughts begin to get the best of us, because we can’t understand why their dreams are coming true, and we’re still sound asleep.

Rather than sit still, we become huntsmen and lie in the cut, waiting to attack our prey. Days, months and years go by, and still no “kill”. The moment we give up is the moment we realize why we haven’t caught anyone…..it’s because WE ARE the prey! Men are supposed to hunt for us! In all honesty, that’s why a lot of times we experience some heartache and pain, is because we go and “find” the man we think is right for us, when he’s anything but. Dam*it, we want our happy ending, and we’ll do whatever it takes until we get it, except WAIT!

I know you may be lonely, in need of companionship, watching all your friends get married and have babies, but you can (and will) have it too! You’ve got to be faithful and know that God’s timing is going to be the right time for you! What you see others being blessed with, is because God said it’s their time. Don’t miss out on great opportunities or allow life to pass you by, because you’re too busy obsessing over finding the perfect man. I spent many if not all, of my twenties trying to “find” my husband, when I should’ve been trying to find myself!

I didn’t know who I was until I entered into my thirties, and I’m so finally happy to have met my acquaintance. Silly, right? In all reality, I’m so happy for this “alone time”, because I have so many business endeavors, PLENTY of time to write and work on my goals, as well as being able to travel and go as I please. Let’s be honest, if I were married or in a relationship with children, I wouldn’t be able to go so freely, because my time would have to be spread out equally. That’s why I don’t really stress about love anymore, because I know when the time is right, it’ll (he) find me! Ladies enjoy your me time and keep dreaming, because happy endings still come true!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue