When you leave “we” for “me”

The woman I am becoming is going to upset some people, cost me a few family members, friendships and relationships, but I’m perfectly okay with that, because in the end, I choose ME! ~ Deetra La’Rue

This afternoon as I was reading my daily devotions, I read that “Those who pursue God’s purpose will always face hard times, troubles and trials”. I’m not sure whose words those belong to, because the plan didn’t give a name or author. Although I don’t know this person’s identity, one thing I do know is, ever since I turned from my old, unaccepting ways, I’ve been met with nothing but jealousy and problems.

I never understood how the minute one decides to live their life according to God’s purpose and try to do the right things, they’re automatically the enemy. I’ve been very forthcoming that I didn’t necessarily have the best attitude and do things the way God intended, but after finally getting my stuff together, I decided I wanted to live a more positive and influential life, not one that was insulting.

There were so many people who pointed out the error of my ways, but I honestly didn’t pay them any mind, because I felt like I was “faultless”. However, after one too many people started saying, “Hey Dee, this is what you’re doing….”, I decided I needed to sit up and pay attention. After all, my life wasn’t going in the direction I wanted it to go, and I now know it had a lot to do with my attitude and foolish ways.

After doing a much needed self-inventory, I started to read my Bible more, spend more time with God and chased after what He wanted for me, as opposed to what I wanted. When I left the negativity alone, my thoughts became positive and God’s will and purpose were more clear than ever. But, I wasn’t going to be able to pursue His plans, until I gave up my own. One of those plans were to remain tied to the same people who I’ve always had a connection too. Not so, said God!

“People who have chosen the path of God will always be met with the fiercest of opposition”. ~Author Unknown

I had what I thought were some pretty rock-solid friendships and relationships, until I started pulling away from them and drawing closer to God and what He has for me. When I showed them that “we” was no longer an option for “me”, I was met with attitudes, cold-shoulders, jealous and envy. You’d think I had committed a heinous crime against them, but the only thing I was guilty of was wanting to be and do better!

I guess my success or this newfound me, was too much to handle! Crazy thing is, I’ve always been the type of person that said I would include everybody once I won. But, it wasn’t that they didn’t want me to share, it was just that they didn’t want to see me WIN! As long as I was a part of the “we”, foolish or craziness, I was “good” in their eyes, because we were all the “same”.

However, when I said I’m going to act right and do “me”, suddenly I was the enemy or “better than”, when I don’t even act that way (NEVER WILL). You know, people are okay with you being less than them or equal to them, but when they feel you are well on your way above them, they resent you for your success/accomplishments, and will do everything they can to see you fail, even it means they’re the ones to pull you back down.

I want everybody to do well and I don’t want anyone to fail, because I’m afraid of them succeeding….even more than me. I would be foolish if I said that all I’m experiencing from people now, doesn’t bother me, because it does. But, one thing that doesn’t, is my ability to walk away! Besides, I don’t want to affiliate myself with someone or people who sees me as a threat, or choose to involve me in a secret competition that I’m not even aware that I’m a part of.

I’m thankful for the ones who are not offended or bothered by my success, because they want me to continue to do well. Note takers, the road to success is not an easy one, and often times we’ll want to take those we’re familiar with or close to, along with us, because it can be lonely. But, whatever you do, don’t allow them to hold you hostage to the idea of staying the same or remaining a part of “the group”, when you know God has better plans for you.

Sometimes we can get so caught up in pleasing “we”, that we forget all about “me”. I love me, I appreciate and am proud of the woman I am evolving into, even if that means being by myself at times. But, I’m okay with that, because I’ll ALWAYS choose me!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Social Media: Death by visualization

Everybody knows that comparison is the thief of joy.  We’re so busy watching and lusting over what others have, that we miss out on our own opportunity for happiness.   ~Deetra La’Rue

Sometimes I’m a little hesitant to hit “Log In”, when accessing my social media account. I’m almost always met with images of women displaying their half-naked bodies, designer buys, or men flashing stacks of money, while being surrounded by a sea of scantily–clad women.  As I scroll on by, my eyes get caught up in the comments section, and I see that just about everyone share the same #GOALS.

What they fail to realize is, that often times what they see is not a true representation of the images displayed.  If anything, it’s a ploy to play with people’s perception and see how many victims they can claim, as they attempt to win their game of charades.  In all honesty, that’s exactly what they’re doing, because them “putting on” for social media, is nothing more than an “act”. 

Sad thing is, the viewers are so caught up in trying to obtain the fantasy that they miss out in reality. I have a huge admiration and appreciation for people who work hard and don’t flaunt their success, just for the sake of attaining social media approval.  I don’t, however, appreciate people who want the whole world to know how many cars they own, how many commas separate their money, how often they frequent Saks Fifth Avenue or how many times they’ve “ran up a check”.

Now, the “commoners” are forced to run after that lifestyle, while killing themselves to get it. It’s not enough for people to be happy with themselves nowadays, because they have been exposed to individuals who “show and tell” them how boring and miserable their lives are.  “If only I had it like that”, seems to be the thought pattern for this generation, especially the younger ones.  Hell, even some of the perpetrators don’t have it like that…but, they want you to believe they do!

Everybody knows that comparison is the thief of joy.  We’re so busy watching and lusting over what others have, that we miss out on our own opportunity for happiness.  Why do we give memes or social media “figures” the right to determine how we should feel or live our lives? Better yet, why are we going into debt to “Keep up with the Kardashians”, be “Flawless like Beyoncé” or live like the “Real Housewives of Atlanta”? 

Stop killing yourselves to compete with images that may be fabricated to appeal to you, in an attempt to improve ratings and fatten the pockets of the imposter, while depleting you of yours.  Goals are things that you set forth to attain and work towards, and should not be measured based upon what someone else has. It’s fine to use others success as an inspiration, but by all means, don’t make them your #GOALS.  There should be no one on this earth that you desire to be “just like”, so stop looking to social media for an example or individuals to define and validate your success. 

So many people think of success and automatically equate it to large sums of money, a colossal mansion or fancy ride. Success is anything you put your mind to and work hard to get. It can be a degree, job or owning your own business.  It doesn’t necessarily have to land you on the front page of the New York Times or earn you a blue check mark on Instagram. Besides, why do you need someone to “verify” who you are or how successful you are? We must also be careful to understand that my success is NOT your success!

Don’t become upset when the life you attempted to pattern after someone else, does not become your own. If that were the case, it would’ve been God’s will for you.  So many people are unhappy, because they are still relying on others to give it to them.  If only they look would “log off” or “deactivate” their account, they’d see they are most happiest when they don’t have constant reminders from images telling them what they should have, what their status should be or how many people need to be following them.

Writefully yours, 

Deetra La’Rue