Why struggle, when you don’t have to? Why live in agony and pain, when you have someone capable of taking it all away? Why carry such heavy burdens, when God can lighten your load? Why worry about tomorrow, when you don’t know the outcome of today? You’ve grown weary from pleading for help, and because you’re tired of praying, you give up. But, have you given it over to God? In life, you’re going to be met with adversities and oppositions, but you’ve got to introduce them to Him, so they can see who’s bigger! When your problems can’t intimidate God, they come after you! I know you’re thinking, “I got this”, but how can you have something that you can’t even handle? You’re out of your lane and most definitely out of your mind, if you think you can do anything better than God. Let go, and stop holding on to things that are trying to destroy you. That can be very hard and challenging, because when He’s “slow to act”, we’re quick to take it back, and the pain comes back once again. Cast all your burdens upon God, because they’re not yours to keep! Those are His problems, let Him deal with it!
On Friday, February 21, 2020, I had my final session of Therapy! My Therapist called me on Monday, February 24, 2020 to confirm what I had felt for months, and to my surprise, my response was much more different from what I’d thought it would be. I was extremely happy and relieved, but apart of me was a little anxious. I had enjoyed our therapeutic relationship for so long, that I thought I’d be empty without it. But, I reminded myself, that although she wouldn’t be there, the techniques she gave me would. Not only that, the very thoughts I had fought for 14 months to rid myself of, were trying to make a re-appearance. One of the worst things it told me was, “Don’t get too happy, because you’re going to f****** up”. I momentarily entertained my anxiety, until I remembered that I had been equipped with the weapons and tools to fight back. I uttered, “Although you’re strong, I have become much more stronger than you, so don’t you f***** up”!
I was so proud of myself for recognizing what I was up against, but more importantly, happy that I took a stance and didn’t allow my thoughts to get the best of me, because I had worked too hard do what was best for me! I’ll admit, those were the most grueling 14 months ever, but I am so thankful that I ignored the stigma and listened to all the signs of destruction. I lived in agony and silence for 21 years, because I was too afraid to ask for something my pain had been telling me I needed, which was help! However, I thought my medication and writing would eventually take care of what I had been feeling, so I really didn’t see the need in paying someone to hear my problems. Although those things provided me with temporary relief, they couldn’t heal me the way Therapy did. Going forward, I know I will no doubt run into more speed bumps, but it’s nothing I can’t “get over”. I feel amazing, like a brand new woman, but most of all, I feel rejuvenated!