Still here

Anybody that knows me, knows that I am notoriously private (well, I try to be). Sometimes, I’m pretty easy to talk to and other times I’m not (at least that’s what I’ve been told). As I’ve gotten older and wiser, I’ve let my guard down (just a little) and try to be transparent, because I never know who I may help along the way.

It’s no secret that I share a lot of my personal hardships and life experiences on this forum. What’s simply a “post” to you, is more than words; it’s my life! As discreet as I try to be, it’s no secret my battle with depression and anxiety, amongst other things. However, one of the biggest things I’ve struggled with, is whether or not I deserved to “still be here”.

Last year, one of the biggest and bravest things I decided to do, was want more for myself. I decided that I was no longer going to be held captive to my past, my mistakes and most important, the negative thoughts I had of myself. Besides, I couldn’t fault people for not feeling or thinking positive of me, when I didn’t require it from myself.

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is one of many organizations that I support (for “obvious” reasons). During one of my many days of online shopping (lol), I came across this jewelry maker on Etsy, and one of the most popular items she sold, was “still here” necklaces, that were followed by the semi-colon sign.

Well, if you are a stranger to the MI (Mental Illness) world, the semi-colon represents a “pause in one’s story, but not the end”. Depression and anxiety was not the end of me (although it tried to destroy me), so I was eager to purchase a necklace, support the cause and allow others to see how brave I was.

My bravery and transparency has allowed others to come forth and share their story. One of my students came to me yesterday, after months of being absent, stating to me why she hadn’t been as active as she needs to be. She shared with me that she is struggling very bad with depression and anxiety, so much, that she literally had to force herself out of bed, and even she doesn’t know how she was able to do it.

Immediately, I felt her anguish, pain and most of all, I felt for her, because not too long ago, I was “trying to get up out of that bed”. I knew then, why I was “still here”….

I don’t care what you are going through or have been through. Never question why you are “still here”…just be thankful that you are!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Breathe! You’re going to make it!

Ever felt like you couldn’t breathe, no matter how much you gasped for air? You probably felt like a fish out of water, suffocated or caged almost, because the pressures of life was just too overwhelming. You’re tired, exasperated and struggling to survive and keep up. Debt is steadily accruing, bills seem to come more than they need to, and you have more problems than you do money, to solve them.

You’re up to your eyeballs in frustration, because you don’t know if things will get better or take a turn for the worse. By now, you’re probably spiraling out of control and feel as if you’re losing it. The life you was once in control of, is now driving you. At this point, you start to question whether or not you’ve made the right life choices. Not satisfied with your decisions, you become pessimistic and hard on yourself.

Sadly, this causes the waves of defeat to rage even more. This is it! You now have feelings that your life is over, well before it even started. With no hope to grab onto, you slowly begin to slip under. Everything turns to darkness, and you’ve settled on the idea that things just aren’t going to get any better. At the point of no return, suddenly, you hear a voice from the rafters of the shallow water, and you fight to come up for air.

Tired, exhausted and unsure how much longer you can continue to take the dangerous currents, you keep on swimming. Alas, you’ve reached the top, and you smile, because you know your help has arrived! Struggling to stay afloat, you see a familiar face in the distance, but you can’t make it out. Your vision is blurred, because the thrashing from the waves has irritated your eyes.

Immediately, the silhouette you see is now clearer than ever! With His hands outstretched, you’re pulled from the raging waters and back into His arms of safety. Now that you’ve been pulled from the rafters, it’s time to start making some changes…..and positive ones at that! Establish your purpose and know your “Why”, because that is going to keep you motivated and help you stay focused amidst life’s many trials and tribulations.

Prioritize, get organized and become a better manager of your finances. The unexpected will happen and raining days will come, but so will “the Son”. No matter how difficult your circumstances become, don’t ever feel it’s easier to “tap out” from life. You’re going to continue to experience some highs and lows (some of us more lows than others), but don’t ever stop swimming, because when He speaks, even the waters (problems) “be still”.

You can now take off your life jacket. B.R.E.A.T.H.E. You’re going to make it!

Until next my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue