Two of the many things that often keep me up at night, is thinking whether or not I deserve something or if I’m worthy of anything. I’ve said this before, but it can be a little difficult for me to accept gifts or praise from people, because I began to question if I truly deserve it, let alone am worthy of it. I’ve sat countless of times and recollected where this feeling stems from, but I just can’t seem to pinpoint the source of my negative thinking. However, although I doubt myself, I know there’s one person who doesn’t. In fact, He knows how worthy and deserving I am, that He was willing to prove it, by dying.
That’s huge that He would be willing to lay down His life for someone He’d never met, let alone heard of. If Jesus thinks so much of me, then why can’t I think the same for myself? There are days I struggle and still question, “Why me”, but then I can’t help but to counter with, “Why not me”? No one is perfect, and truth be told, I wouldn’t want to be. I’m not going to always get it right, the first, second or third time, but what I do know is, I’m the right person, to receive everything good that happens to me, and so do you! I’ve lived with guilt for a long time, and was afraid (and sometimes still am) to share my good news with others, because of their negative reaction.
For the most part, the responses are good, but I guess after the blessings continues, it can be a little too much for them to handle. I began to become almost ashamed of what God was doing for me, because I allowed people to make me feel as though I was not deserving of greatness, when I know that’s all I’m destined for. Besides, I can’t fail, when I have someone who has my back, that has never experienced a loss. Although people may not think highly of me, let alone much, one thing I am for certain of, and that is the fact that I am to die for! Don’t let anyone question your value, when you are invaluable to God.
Until next time my NOTE takers!
Writefully yours,
Deetra La’Rue
