It’s so easy to place our dreams, visions and goals on the backburner, because this pandemic is constantly at the forefront. Like me, I’m pretty sure you’ve been uninspired, not really motivated or tired (which is a total understatement), because you’ve had enough of COVID-19! We can’t go outside, because we’re at risk. We can’t be “that close” to our family members, because we’re at risk. We can’t be out past our 10PM curfew (depends upon your state), because we’re at risk….of getting pulled over and fined! There are so many things we are faced with, yet finishing what we started is not one of them. As a matter of fact, it’s pretty much non-existent. Where did our dreams go? We’ve lost sight of what we need to be doing, because we’re too obsessing over what we can’t do! I’m not downplaying the seriousness of this deadly virus, because it needs our attention, but so does our goals. We’ve got some unfinished business, and now is the time to handle it! You might not be able to go out, but that doesn’t mean your light has too! Keep shining, keep working, but most importantly, keep dreaming!
On Friday, February 21, 2020, I had my final session of Therapy! My Therapist called me on Monday, February 24, 2020 to confirm what I had felt for months, and to my surprise, my response was much more different from what I’d thought it would be. I was extremely happy and relieved, but apart of me was a little anxious. I had enjoyed our therapeutic relationship for so long, that I thought I’d be empty without it. But, I reminded myself, that although she wouldn’t be there, the techniques she gave me would. Not only that, the very thoughts I had fought for 14 months to rid myself of, were trying to make a re-appearance. One of the worst things it told me was, “Don’t get too happy, because you’re going to f****** up”. I momentarily entertained my anxiety, until I remembered that I had been equipped with the weapons and tools to fight back. I uttered, “Although you’re strong, I have become much more stronger than you, so don’t you f***** up”!
I was so proud of myself for recognizing what I was up against, but more importantly, happy that I took a stance and didn’t allow my thoughts to get the best of me, because I had worked too hard do what was best for me! I’ll admit, those were the most grueling 14 months ever, but I am so thankful that I ignored the stigma and listened to all the signs of destruction. I lived in agony and silence for 21 years, because I was too afraid to ask for something my pain had been telling me I needed, which was help! However, I thought my medication and writing would eventually take care of what I had been feeling, so I really didn’t see the need in paying someone to hear my problems. Although those things provided me with temporary relief, they couldn’t heal me the way Therapy did. Going forward, I know I will no doubt run into more speed bumps, but it’s nothing I can’t “get over”. I feel amazing, like a brand new woman, but most of all, I feel rejuvenated!