On Friday, February 21, 2020, I had my final session of Therapy! My Therapist called me on Monday, February 24, 2020 to confirm what I had felt for months, and to my surprise, my response was much more different from what I’d thought it would be. I was extremely happy and relieved, but apart of me was a little anxious. I had enjoyed our therapeutic relationship for so long, that I thought I’d be empty without it. But, I reminded myself, that although she wouldn’t be there, the techniques she gave me would. Not only that, the very thoughts I had fought for 14 months to rid myself of, were trying to make a re-appearance. One of the worst things it told me was, “Don’t get too happy, because you’re going to f****** up”. I momentarily entertained my anxiety, until I remembered that I had been equipped with the weapons and tools to fight back. I uttered, “Although you’re strong, I have become much more stronger than you, so don’t you f***** up”!
I was so proud of myself for recognizing what I was up against, but more importantly, happy that I took a stance and didn’t allow my thoughts to get the best of me, because I had worked too hard do what was best for me! I’ll admit, those were the most grueling 14 months ever, but I am so thankful that I ignored the stigma and listened to all the signs of destruction. I lived in agony and silence for 21 years, because I was too afraid to ask for something my pain had been telling me I needed, which was help! However, I thought my medication and writing would eventually take care of what I had been feeling, so I really didn’t see the need in paying someone to hear my problems. Although those things provided me with temporary relief, they couldn’t heal me the way Therapy did. Going forward, I know I will no doubt run into more speed bumps, but it’s nothing I can’t “get over”. I feel amazing, like a brand new woman, but most of all, I feel rejuvenated!
Until next time my NOTE takers!
Writefully yours,
Deetra La’Rue
