Rejuvenated

On Friday, February 21, 2020, I had my final session of Therapy! My Therapist called me on Monday, February 24, 2020 to confirm what I had felt for months, and to my surprise, my response was much more different from what I’d thought it would be. I was extremely happy and relieved, but apart of me was a little anxious. I had enjoyed our therapeutic relationship for so long, that I thought I’d be empty without it. But, I reminded myself, that although she wouldn’t be there, the techniques she gave me would. Not only that, the very thoughts I had fought for 14 months to rid myself of, were trying to make a re-appearance. One of the worst things it told me was, “Don’t get too happy, because you’re going to f****** up”. I momentarily entertained my anxiety, until I remembered that I had been equipped with the weapons and tools to fight back. I uttered, “Although you’re strong, I have become much more stronger than you, so don’t you f***** up”!

I was so proud of myself for recognizing what I was up against, but more importantly, happy that I took a stance and didn’t allow my thoughts to get the best of me, because I had worked too hard do what was best for me! I’ll admit, those were the most grueling 14 months ever, but I am so thankful that I ignored the stigma and listened to all the signs of destruction. I lived in agony and silence for 21 years, because I was too afraid to ask for something my pain had been telling me I needed, which was help! However, I thought my medication and writing would eventually take care of what I had been feeling, so I really didn’t see the need in paying someone to hear my problems. Although those things provided me with temporary relief, they couldn’t heal me the way Therapy did. Going forward, I know I will no doubt run into more speed bumps, but it’s nothing I can’t “get over”. I feel amazing, like a brand new woman, but most of all, I feel rejuvenated!

Image result for help hotline text
Image courtesy of afsp.org/resources

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

No longer the baby

“Honey, your father and I have something to tell you. You’re going to be a big sister”! As you watch their face light up, your world has just turned to darkness, because the spot (light) you’ve held for so long, is now gone. 1000 thoughts are racing through your mind, but the one that sticks out the most is, “What does that mean for me”?

Like the individual in the story above, a lot of you can probably relate. However, I’m not speaking about having a new sibling, but feelings of being replaced, left out or forgotten about, even. Sort of like your Freshmen year in college, you got all the attention, because everybody was curious as to who the “newbies” were on campus.

You probably experienced extra special treatment, because people wanted to ensure your first year was a success. Then, you became a Sophomore, and your title of once being the “new kid on the block” changed. Suddenly, you’re struggling to fit in and find a spot. “No longer the baby”, you feel left out and unimportant.

You’ve been shunned, and the light that once shone on you, is now shining on someone else. You’re desperate…..and will do whatever it takes to regain the attention and love you’re all too fond of. Stopping at nothing, you do all that you can to get people to “notice” you again, even if it means changing who you are.

Stop! Before you mess up a good thing (meaning you), I’d like you to consider this: positions change! You’re not meant to stay in the same spot forever, so don’t get comfortable! So many people miss out on great opportunities, because they’ve become complacent with where they’re at, and don’t want to move.

Advancement in employment is declined, because nobody wants the responsibility of leading (some people are good and perfectly okay, with following). Some women pass on a good husband, and men a good wife, because they’re too busy trying to turn the one they have into the one they want. Good luck with that!

The opportunity of a lifetime can come your way, but you refuse to give up your “something for nothing”. Sadly, you let your blessings pass you by, because you’re afraid of what the “shift” is going to do for you. However, you’ve got to understand that change is inevitable and sometimes it’s what we need most! You may be in a pretty good position, but there is something more promising and better on the way! All you need to do is get uncomfortable and move!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue