“I’m hungry”, said the man, and “I have no money for food”.
I gave, because he was me.
“Can you help me, please? I was evicted out of my home, and I have no place to go”.
I gave, because she was me.
“Ma’am, I’ve lost my job and don’t know how I’m going to provide for my family”, said the woman holding the sign on the street corner.
I gave, because they were me.
I know what it’s like to be hungry, homeless, jobless, destitute, in need and without. No matter who I see or regardless of what their situation is, I give, because I want to help. But, more importantly, I give because God gave me! Don’t ever turn your back on those in need, because one day, “they could be you”!
On Friday, February 21, 2020, I had my final session of Therapy! My Therapist called me on Monday, February 24, 2020 to confirm what I had felt for months, and to my surprise, my response was much more different from what I’d thought it would be. I was extremely happy and relieved, but apart of me was a little anxious. I had enjoyed our therapeutic relationship for so long, that I thought I’d be empty without it. But, I reminded myself, that although she wouldn’t be there, the techniques she gave me would. Not only that, the very thoughts I had fought for 14 months to rid myself of, were trying to make a re-appearance. One of the worst things it told me was, “Don’t get too happy, because you’re going to f****** up”. I momentarily entertained my anxiety, until I remembered that I had been equipped with the weapons and tools to fight back. I uttered, “Although you’re strong, I have become much more stronger than you, so don’t you f***** up”!
I was so proud of myself for recognizing what I was up against, but more importantly, happy that I took a stance and didn’t allow my thoughts to get the best of me, because I had worked too hard do what was best for me! I’ll admit, those were the most grueling 14 months ever, but I am so thankful that I ignored the stigma and listened to all the signs of destruction. I lived in agony and silence for 21 years, because I was too afraid to ask for something my pain had been telling me I needed, which was help! However, I thought my medication and writing would eventually take care of what I had been feeling, so I really didn’t see the need in paying someone to hear my problems. Although those things provided me with temporary relief, they couldn’t heal me the way Therapy did. Going forward, I know I will no doubt run into more speed bumps, but it’s nothing I can’t “get over”. I feel amazing, like a brand new woman, but most of all, I feel rejuvenated!
Have you ever been so happy and excited about the great things that are taking place in your life, that you can barely wait to see what happens next? Do you find yourself rushing to get to another adventure, although you’re not finished with the one you’re on? Great! Because, I thought I was the only one. The last few years have been pretty amazing for me, and I couldn’t be more happier. However, I couldn’t be more impatient either, because I’m constantly in a hurry to get to the next phase of my journey. Yet, I have to question myself, “Are you really enjoying the journey”? After all, how can I be, if my mind has left the “party”, only to plan the upcoming one. Rather than “bolting” like Usain to the next level, I’m just going to sit still and enjoy the fruits of my labor!
Don’t get so caught up living your life as though you are in a race. Slow down and appreciate the small things, as you look forward to the bigger ones to come.
When I look back on my awards, degrees and times of recognition, I say, “Wow! You did that! I’m so proud of you”. Today, I understand the value of all those accolades, because I didn’t see it then. To be honest, I didn’t look at them as accomplishments, but merely something I “had to do”. I’d literally “live in the moment”, and quickly move on to the next thing. “You can’t dwell too long”, I’d tell myself. “Keep it moving, or you’ll be put in a position where you can’t”. Good riddance! No wonder I couldn’t enjoy the fruits of my labor. However, I now realize, they are worth more than I’ll ever know. I don’t take any of it for granted or think so little of it, because there are many people who didn’t have the privilege of going to college and earn two degrees like me, let alone one. I’m grateful for every accomplishment, because it lets me know I not only “did that”, but I EARNED it….and all the adoration as well!
Anything you do, regardless of how big or small, always be proud!
You have something that belongs to me. I’m not sure why you took it, when it wasn’t yours to begin with. However, I need it back! It’s been gone for so long, that I forgot what it felt like. I’ve become so weak, because it held all my strength. No matter what I was going through, it always reminded me that everything was going to be okay. To be honest, I didn’t know that I could miss something so much, until I was without it. I’ve lost my mind, because I no longer have peace of mind. So, hand it over, because I’m taking it back!
Stop letting thieves steal from you. You saw what it did to your “joy”.
