Eventually, you’ll come out!

For years, I was in a deep dark hole and I didn’t know if I’d ever come out or slide farther in. However, what I did know was, no matter what I was facing, I couldn’t let it swallow me up! I haven’t been the most vocal when it comes to Mental Awareness, but no longer faced with the concerns or scrutiny of the world, I can say without shame, I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety for a very long time….since the age of 14 to be exact.

At that time, I didn’t know what is was called, but I knew something wasn’t right. There would be times I’d have “the blues”, and after a few days or so, I’d feel better. But, when the days gradually turned into weeks and months, I knew I had more than just “the blues”, but a serious problem. Although I was a little reluctant at first, I shared with my Primary Care Physician at that time, what I was battling with. After a series of tests, she gave me two options: a prescription or a referral.

Not wanting either, I eventually conceded, because I felt I had already lost anyway. I took the medication, but later stopped, because I didn’t like the way it made me feel. I saw an LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor) for awhile, but even that did nothing for me, except resent my PCP for referring me in the first place. After I gave up on both, I started to self-medicate, but none of my remedies was working. At that point, that deep dark hole, was starting to look like home.

As long as I was in that hole, I was surrounded by darkness and the idea that I’d never get out. More than a conqueror, I knew I had so much to offer and a lot of life still to live. So, I started to dig and crawl my way up, but every time I reached the top, I’d slip and slide right back down. This continued for years, until I finally gained enough strength and adopted the mindset of a survivor. Equipped with this, I was well on my way to becoming free!

Would I surprise you if I told you I finally got out…..THIS YEAR?! 20 years later, I managed to crawl out of that hole and I have no intentions of falling back in! Some of you may be in a hole, almost at the top, or have accepted the fact that you’ll never see the light of day again. However, I’m here to tell you, it may take days, months, years even, but eventually, you’ll come out! But, you’ve got to WANT to come out! It may seem as though things will never get better, but they will!

Do you want to live or survive? As long as you’re in that hole, you’re only living. But the minute you decide you want to survive, is the second you will do everything in your power to come out of your situation. No matter how your situation looks, don’t give up, and more importantly, whatever you do, DON’T STOP CRAWLING! Keep digging until you are no longer surrounded by darkness and dirt!

Until next time Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Detours

If you encounter a roadblock, go around it…..If you run into a brick wall, climb over it…..If you come to a closed door, open it! There will be obstacles in your life, but there will be solutions as well! No matter what gets in your way, DON’T GIVE UP, because there’s always a way “around” something! 

I remember being in church one Sunday morning, and the Pastor said, “Your problems have an expiration date and won’t last always”.  That resonated with me, because it was in that very moment that I realized, all that I was going through would be over with soon, but I just didn’t know how soon.  I had encountered a number of roadblocks, and didn’t know how I was going to go around them.  Credit card bills were piling up, I wasn’t making any money, I hadn’t “flown the nest” and quitting my job seemed like the easiest thing to do at that point. Besides, I no longer enjoyed what I was doing. 

After graduating from college and eventually Post-secondary school, I began my quest to find a “career”.  Application after application, I was “denied”, “not qualified” or simply didn’t get a call back.  Although I was met with rejection, I continued to apply, even though I didn’t have any faith that I would be selected, let alone called for an interview, because I had more no’s than I did yeses.  Despite not ever hearing from anyone, I continued in my “pursuit of happiness”.  I’ll admit, after a while, my faith really started to waiver, because I felt as though God had forgotten about me, or was punishing me one. 

Little did I know, I wasn’t being punished.  I was forced to take a slight detour, because the route I was on, wasn’t leading me anywhere, let alone to where God wanted me to be.  While on this detour, I drove down the “road to change”, traveled a little on “new attitude boulevard”, and managed to even cruise on “positive lane”, all the things I needed (and more) to get me around my roadblocks.  Realization had set in, and I knew that in order for me to walk straight into God’s will for me, I had to climb over a few walls, jump over some hurdles and open a lot of closed doors…..especially ones that people told me couldn’t be opened. 

Suddenly, my problems didn’t overwhelm me anymore, because I knew God was bigger than them and would help me overcome them.  As I began to take more detours in life, I reached places that I never thought I would see, encountered people who helped me get through my problems and ultimately became a better person. My life started to change for the better and the problems I thought would last for eternity, had expired.  It was then I played back the words the Pastor had spoke of, “Your problems have an expiration date and won’t last forever”.  I can smile now, because I know he was right! 

No matter how bad or difficult your situation is, it’s not going to be that way forever! It may seem like it’s taking an eternity for things to get better or you may feel as though God is not listening, although you are crying out to Him, but do know that He is! A lot of times we are waiting for God to do everything for us, but He’s waiting on us to just take the first step.  Get out of your comfort zone and move! Stop traveling roads that are familiar to you or simply bring you comfort.  It’s going to take you making a detour every once in awhile, in order for you to end up on the path God has chosen JUST for you! 

Writefully yours, 

Deetra La’Rue