Posted in Don't worry, be happy

Happy Again: Adding the value back to your life

For a very long time, I felt lost (more like deserted), and I just didn’t know which way to go. If I went left, would things suddenly go “right” for me, or would I continue to wonder around endlessly, looking for my peace and joy…from someone/something else? Like you, I often found myself attaching my happiness to a person, place or thing, but the only thing that could make me happy, was me!

I remember when I was a teenager, I always dreamed of moving to New York, and eventually Atlanta, Georgia, because I thought that’s where my happiness, career, husband, and life was. If nothing or no one could fix what I was going through, then a move across the world would surely do it. I’ve been to Atlanta more times than I can count, and although I was happy when I got there, there was nothing that’d make me happier, than leaving.

The same can be said for New York. I visited NYC for almost a week, and although it was everything that I dreamed it would be and saw on t.v., within 3 days, I was ready to go. I was happy to have experienced the moment, but I was even more happier to get back home to Alabama. I didn’t understand fully that I was attaching my happiness to destinations, until I read an article by Psychologist Dr. Robert Holden, on “Destination Addiction”. He states that, “Destination Addiction is a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is found somewhere else”.

For years, I tied my happiness to different states and people. I foolishly thought a city could give me what I needed, and when I went, it was nothing but a temporarily delight. My happiness faded away, because I was not happy where I was. When I became an adult and entered into my 30’s, I found my happiness, and sad to say, it was in a place that I knew existed, but kept hidden for so long (me)! My happiness brought me joy, peace and more importantly, it added the value back to my life that I had taken away.

Everyone has a choice, so if you’re unhappy, that’s your choice! Quit tying your happiness to places, people or things, because they will disappoint you every time.

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Posted in Don't worry, be happy

Are you really “living your best life”?

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined. ~Thoreau

I get so tired of the overused expression, “I’m living my best life”, when what I see is anything but “best”. People have a tendency of putting on a façade, to give others the impression that they are having the time of their lives, when they wish they lived the life they pretend to lead.

Monthly trips, new “fits” (clothes) and a different MCM or WCW (Man Crush Monday or Woman Crush Wednesday), and none of it can still make you happy or probably ever will, because you’re too busy living your life for others or to appease them, to say the least.

But, what for? What do you owe them, and why do you to pay them back with your “happiness”? You shouldn’t compromise who you are or your joy, just so someone can click “like”, “share” or label you as “goals”. The sad thing is, they’re striving to be like you, when even you don’ t know who the hell you are. How can you, when you’ve put on a façade for so long?

Are you really “living your best life”? “The life you’ve imagined”? Or, the one others imagined you to have? You’re still trying to please people and keep your “image” going, when you’re falling apart at the d*mn seams. You can’t even stitch yourself together, because you’ve got to upload the next “lie” (insert emoji eye roll). #byefelicia

When you finally decide to establish the life you want for yourself and go after your dreams, only then will you be “living your best life”. However, you’ve got to be prepared that your “real life” will probably be ridiculed, go “unliked” and may even be deemed boring, but who cares? It’s yours! Don’t waste another minute trying to be someone else’s “goals” when you haven’t even accomplished yours!

Don’t misconstrue your truth to keep up with the demands of your lie! Be who you are, do what you want to do, and only then, will you be “living your best life”!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue