Posted in Doing the right thing

Pro Bono

Are you one of those people who are always working for “benefit”, and not being of “benefit”? In other words, you’re looking at what you can get out of the deal, as opposed to what you can give someone else. We’ve all heard of the overly used expression, “I don’t work for free”, but would it hurt you if you did? I understand we all have to make a living, but what about those who can barely afford to live?

Do we look out for them, or concern ourselves with getting ours, and suggest they do the same? I know we can’t control people’s circumstances, shortcomings, or help everyone out, but what about the difference we’d make if we tried to? More importantly, are we willing too? Sometimes, I question if I’m the only one that still cares, because I feel like I’m one of few concerned with this agenda.

When I help others, it’s for four reasons: God has been a blessing to me, innately I’m a caring person, I love to and someone did it for me! I can’t look down on others and not offer an extended hand, especially when I’m in a position to help. Let’s be clear, when I speak of helping and giving, I’m not necessarily talking in terms of money. Too often, people equate helping with money, and while it “helps”, it’s not always what people need.

Some people need your time, expertise, love, support and to simply know that you care, and don’t mind being there. How can you set a dollar amount or place value on being a blessing to someone else? I don’t expect everyone to do everything for free, because I don’t (let’s be real)! However, I don’t charge for everything I do or expect something in return, all because I provided a service.

The joy I make them feel by helping out is my “hard earned pay”! I realize I can’t be everything to everybody or help the world out, but I’m going to do whatever I can to try and make a difference! You don’t always have to do something with the intent on being paid or rewarded for what you do. Sometimes, the difference you make is the only reward you’ll receive!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Posted in Doing the right thing

It’s not about you

A goal of mine when I started this forum, was to post every…..single….day! Needless to say, I haven’t necessarily been on my “P’s and Q’s”. Before I post, I ALWAYS ask God, “What do you want me to tell these people”? After sitting in deep thought for some minutes or two, I end up saying something, although that “something” may not be what I want to share. However, it ends up being something that we feel the readers need.

I’ve never been fond of the way I was raised or the life experiences I went through, and I sure as heck didn’t want to make others aware. Although I couldn’t understand why I was being tortured (so, I thought), I just knew I had to be going through what I did for a reason. My reason used to be as punishment for something I’d done in my life, but He forgives all, so that was no longer an option.

As crazy as this may sound, I learned that my misfortunes needed to happen. (1): It was all apart of God’s plans (2): There was a lesson in it for me and (3): There was a blessing in it for someone else. Part of the things I went through (I feel), was to be able to help others who were about to make their way through where I had been, or who were trying to find a way out. As much as I questioned and asked “Why me”, in all honesty, it wasn’t even about me.

It was about “her”, “him”, “they” and “them” all along….it was never about Deetra! I selfishly choose to put the attention back on me! When I took me out of it, and realized God was using me to help them, the struggles, heartache and pain, all made sense. I can’t begin to tell you the lives I’ve impacted, transformed or made a difference in, because I used my pain to help them get through theirs.

Because I was able to identify with them, I could help! Because I had been through the trenches and they the terrains, I could help! Because I had been through the fiery furnace and they the pits of hell, I could help! Because I said, “Yes Lord, Your will and not mine”, I could help! You never know what your situation may do to help others, but you can’t see it, because you’re too busy trying to get the hell out!

I’m not asking or recommending anyone to stay in a detrimental situation, to obtain experience to pass on to the next person. What I am saying is, sometimes it’s not about you, but them….and the only way you can help them, is if you’ve gone through it yourself! I’ve fallen on many of occasions, and the only way I was able to get back up, was on the strength of someone else’s story. Keep shining! You’re someone’s light in their darkness.

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Posted in Doing the right thing

When you’re interested and he’s NOT….available

“Hey, do me a favor. Ask the guy in the “Communications Department” (not his true office…I don’t know if he reads here or not) if he has a girlfriend”, were the words I stated to my friend, Jeri. “Why can’t you do it, she said”? “Because, I don’t want him to know it’s me”! “Okay Dee, but I just hope he doesn’t think it’s me either”! I laughed as I hung up the phone, because I thought it to be so silly to have someone ask someone that I like, if they have a girlfriend, when I could’ve just done it myself!

I am probably one of the most boldest, confident and in-your-face people you’ll ever meet. I have no qualms approaching or asking a man for his number (sorry my old-fashioners), because the worst he can do is not give it to me. Either way, I’m not losing! However, I just could not bring myself to ask the guy in the Comm. Dept. for his number, let alone if he has a girlfriend. I kept running the scenarios in my head of what he would say to my question, or to me, once he found out it was I who was admiring him.

Whenever I would see or talk to him, my face would like up as bright as Times Square, I’m for certain my eyes “twinkled” and I felt like I was in 7th grade again, because I was crushing BAD! Not wanting him “see me sweat”, I tried to straighten up when I was around him, but I felt myself bending outta shape every time. I’m not sure if it’s because he is an AWESOME listener, extremely attentive, kind, shy (total turn-on) charismatic or plain ole good-looking, but I do know, it’s just “something” about him!

He and I continued to friendly converse with one another, and I no longer entertained the idea of the “unknown” that was plaguing me. Lo and behold, after my friend was done digging in the dirt for me, she delicately placed the shovel in my lap and said, “He’s in a relationship”. Well, d*mn! That sucked! Come to find out, that “unknown” that I was feeling, was that “this” (meaning him) was just too good to be true. Clearly not happy, I still accepted the response and remained respectful of his relationship.

By now, he knows it’s me and as suspected, whenever I’m in his company or pass him in the halls, I feel so awkward. I don’t know if it’s due to the fact that he knows it’s me, or because I like someone who’s in a relationship. Whichever the case, I’d NEVER cross the line or put someone in a position where they could not (or won’t, I should say) tell me NO! Yes, I understand that people cross the line all the time at their choosing, but I wouldn’t present them with the option to do so with me. Make sense?

Having said that, you have probably found yourself (or know of someone) in a similar situation. You feel so strongly about this person and they about you, so quite naturally you want to make the connection. Don’t! It’s not worth it, and although there are some people lying and waiting to “risk it all”, don’t let them do it at your expense. Just think, would you want your significant other to treat you in such a way? My sentiments exactly!

He and I had the opportunity to converse about the situation, and although it didn’t pan out the way I wanted it to, I’m very fortunate that he has been completely upfront and honest with me, respectful of his relationship and still wants to keep our work relationship and open line of communication with one another in tact. Honestly, I’m not mad at the situation, and I even joked and told my friend Jeri to give me 72 hours and I’ll have him out of my system!

It’s okay to like people, just as long as you like them from behind “the line”!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue