Looking to God

A few days ago, I’d received notification that I had a royalty payment coming from my book distributor. I was so excited because I hadn’t received one in months, and then too, I just knew God was about to wow my mind (and bank account), and He did! Not only was I blown away about how little the payment was, I was taken aback because I was being held back once again. Even in the midst of my disappointment, I prayed to God and thanked Him for someone purchasing my book, and that one day my hard work, dreams, and passion will pay off. I might not have gotten the payoff I was looking for, but it goes to show you that you can’t ever give up (or want to) no matter how things are going. I didn’t sell no where near the amount of books I anticipated I’d sell this year, and although I was disappointed, it won’t stop my efforts or dreams. It can be hard, tiring, and draining writing and being a content creator. It can be extremely emotionally and mentally exhausting not seeing the fruits of your labor, when it seems laboring is all you’ve done. You might question (as I’ve often done) and ask God if you heard Him right or if He truly made a promise or if it was what you wanted and not Him. When defeat kicks in, it can be easy to start thinking and accepting the worse, because your situation isn’t getting any better. However, if I gave up every time my sales didn’t increase, my lack of performance would only decrease my ability to be who God has purposed me to be, and that’s great! Eventually I will get everything I’m looking for, but until then, I’m going to keep looking to God to improve me and my craft.


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