Notes by La'Rue

“You’ve changed,” Is a statement I often hear, especially from people who haven’t seen or spoken to me in a while. “Thank God for change,” is always my response, because I’ve come a long way from the person I used to be. Even though change can be good, not everyone is receptive to it, especially when it causes things to change for them. I used to waste a lot of time on people and things I should’ve never played a part in. That embodied me having bad friendships, involvement with people who had ulterior motives, unproductive, dissension starters, no goals, unmotivated, and the list continues. Not only was I around these people, I was like them (to a certain extent). While I’ve never had ulterior motives or a lack of goals, I can say I’ve been unmotivated, not as productive as I could have been, and one who starts drama. Although I’m not proud of anything I’ve done, I don’t regret who’ve become as a result of it.

Seeing how destructive and hurtful I was in the past (not just to others but myself) made me want to be better, especially for my future. I’m not the bitter and angry woman I once was, and if that is the only impression you have of me, then clearly you don’t know me at all. I’ve evolved into someone I’d never thought I’d be but desperately needed. I realized the change wasn’t just for me, but necessary to help others alike to move on from where I used to be. People sometimes will guilt trip you for changing. They’ll accuse you of now thinking you’re better than them and everyone else, when they probably don’t have a clue as to how you once were, or they’d be glad you sought better. Now that I’m doing things entirely different, there are some things I give more thought to as opposed to just doing on impulse. However, I don’t regret anything I’ve gone through because it’s helped me to get to who and where I am.

Don’t be conformed to the person you used to be, because someone doesn’t like who you’ve become. They want to hold you hostage to your past, because they can’t get past the fact that the one thing they used to control has now changed, which is you. Change is good and if you get the opportunity to do it, go for it. It’ll make you better.

La’Rue