Notes by La'Rue

Have you ever been so angry and upset with someone for something they either said or done, and no matter how much they apologized or tried to “right their wrong,” you were still unwilling to forgive? You’d think that after years of bitterness, malice and holding a grudge, you’d be over it by now, but for some reason, you just can’t seem to let it go.

Whether it be a fragrance, voice or resemblance, anything that reminds you of them, keeps the hatchet from being buried, and you in constant pain. I know, because I’m struggling with it now, but I’m considering dropping the charges. Besides, the only way I will get relief, is if I release forgiveness. A lot of times people are reluctant to forgive, because they feel as though they are excusing the offender and the offense. However, I choose to forgive not to set the offender free, but myself. I used to have an invisible tape recorder that continuously played over and over again, all the hurtful things I’ve experienced, in which I couldn’t seem to escape.

Whether it was my poor upbringing or the unfortunate (and avoidable) situations I’ve been in with a couple of men, my mind would replay it. Finally, I had enough! Not only did I recognize I needed help, I wanted it! One of the biggest investments I made, was going to therapy, which I’m a complete advocate of. I know some people feel therapy doesn’t solve anything and is a complete waste of time, but I beg to differ. Largely because it didn’t lay the blame on me or bandage up my wounds but helped to heal them.

This post is not an attack on those who have experienced any type of trauma, because I know how extremely difficult and hard it is for wounds to heal, and situations as those, can take all the time in the world. I won’t ever view forgiveness as a “free pass”, but more of a “get out of jail free card” that I give myself, because a lot of times, I’m the one that’s being held hostage.    

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Deetra La’Rue