It annoys me when someone is expressing themselves, and while doing so, they’re cut off with the words, “Stop crying, and suck it up!” Usually, the expresser typically does, but why should they? Why can’t they let it all out, instead of being forced to keep it in? I often regretted when I’d pour my heart out to someone as I vented and voiced my frustrations, and how past situations I experienced negatively affected me, only to be met with raised eyebrows, deep stares, and the phrase, “I know you aren’t crying? You’re the strong one I normally run to?” Well, I guess “strong people” don’t get weak, huh? *Insert eye roll*
As a result of being “indirectly” asked to suppress my feelings, I pretty much kept going with that trend. I can be overwhelmed with sadness, and rather than try to pinpoint the source of my emotions, I’ll deny myself the chance to actually feel what I’m feeling. Instead, I would quickly stuff my tears and pain in a box and put them out of sight and out of mind. Besides, I’m not supposed to feel down, when I’m the “strong one”, right? Wrong! You need to allow yourself to be happy, sad, angry, mad, and how ever else you choose to feel, if that’s how you feel! No one should dictate your emotions, let alone make you feel guilty for expressing them, even if they aren’t comfortable doing it themselves.
I know men in particular, are often ridiculed or deemed as “soft”, should they express themselves. Sometimes, because of that very reason and them not wanting to be viewed that way, they’ll hold the hurt, trauma, and pain inside, which I find to be completely unfair! It doesn’t matter if you’re male, female, or whoever you identify yourself as, none of it should be used to measure how strong you get to be, so stop allowing others to!
Everything that you’re holding onto and inside of you, release it! A lot of times, the things we hold onto, often negative, is most detrimental to us. It could lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety, amongst other things. I’m not a doctor, but I can definitely speak for myself, when I say I’ve experienced the two. Besides, I’d rather release the hurt inside, instead of allowing it to reside, and continue to hurt me.
Until next time my NOTE takers!
Deetra La’Rue
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