Last night, I cried a river longer than the Jordan and Nile combined. Being burdened is a lot to deal with, especially when it seems as though you’re carrying the load by yourself. Although God puts no more on us than we can bare, I can barely stand the little He does place on me. I say a little, because had it not being for His mercy, I would’ve experienced way more than I have and gotten plenty of what I deserved. I’ve been caught in a years’ long seasonal battle, and I’ve seriously questioned God whether or not there is indeed a way out, because being in is all I know.
I’ve done like many of you, cried, become upset, yell at or be angry with God. I’ll admit, there were times I didn’t pray or was reluctant to, because I already knew it wasn’t going to “do any good.” I’ve even stopped myself in the middle of crying, and resided to the idea that it’s not worth it. All of the sleepless nights and crying I’d experienced from hurting, was a complete waste, because when the tears stopped, my problems were still there. Either way, it made no difference to me, because I didn’t see the difference I needed in my life.
I read in Psalms 56:8 that, “God keeps a track of my sorrows. He has collected all my tears in His bottle, and recorded each one in His book (NLT).” For every tear that I’ve shed, God has taken notice. Not only was my sorrow not a waste, but as a result of what I’ve gone through, He’s going to give me a profit for my pain. All of my trials, tribulations, and problems, God’s got a record of. He sees and knows exactly what I’m facing, and not only is He facing it with me, He’s going to help me make it through. Lately, I’ve felt like Peter and the Disciples in the boat, battling a great storm. Thinking it’s the end, I call out to God, only for Him to command the wind not move.
This season has been extremely hard on me, but having hope in the midst, is even harder. I recently listened to an interview that Britney Spears did, and to paraphrase, she stated, “All I have left is my hope. Normally, it’s the last thing to leave, but as long as I have it, they can’t take it away from me, because once it’s gone, I won’t have anything left.”
I’m not sure of your situation or if you’re at your wick’s end, but if you are, there’s one thing I want you to know, this too will end. You’ll always have trouble, but sooner or later, they’ll expire. No matter how many difficulties occur, keep praying and keep crying if you have too. God hears you, He sees you, and He’s going to reward you for all of your pain.
Until next time my NOTE takers!