Decayed ambition

On the inside, you’re slowly dying. The talent, knowledge, skills and innovative ideas you possess, are badly decomposing. What’s crazy is that, you’re not trying to do anything to save yourself. You used to be so driven and ambitious, but even that’s decayed. What’s wrong with you? “Don’t you want to live?”…..

I used to write myself excerpts like the one above, especially when I needed motivation. I would become so annoyed and disappointed with myself, because I knew my capabilities, but I’d often limit them. Internally, I have a factory filled with ideas, books, and movie scripts, and I sometimes I wonder if they’ll ever make it to the assembly line. I used to think that maybe I was dreaming too large and thinking too big, that I wouldn’t be able to produce all that I had created. I had become so overwhelmed and discouraged, that I thought about shutting my factory down for good, but then I realized a couple of things:

It didn’t matter if my dreams were too big.

It didn’t matter if my ideas were too far-fetched.

It didn’t matter if people supported me or not.

What did matter is that I not let what’s on the inside of me die. The day I shared it with the world, was the day I came back to life!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Deetra La’Rue

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