What’s your type?

Fear is a crippling feeling we’ve all encountered at some point in our lives. Whether it be snakes, heights, or failure, we all have something that we’re afraid of. I want to preface by saying, I am not a Doctor or Psychiatrist, so the opinions and experiences discussed are my own. There are five types of fear that most people have either experienced or will experience, and they are as follows:

  1. Fear of failure: The feeling or condition of being unsuccessful. If you asked several people, I’m sure they’d each paint a different picture of what failure looks to them. Some may be afraid of not succeeding in school, performing well at work or being in a committed relationship. Whichever the case, based upon past experiences or attempts at being successful, they will often not try or give their all, because they feel the results will be no different than the last ones. Rather than giving it another try, they quit before they start and tell themselves, “I can’t”, because the idea of failing is too much for them to bear.
  2. Fear of rejection: The feeling or condition of not being accepted. If we’re honest, most of us can attest to having this feeling (quite often). Personally, I’ve dealt with rejection for the better part of my life. Whether it be rejection from my peers or guys I was interested in, I became emotionally sensitive to certain things and situations, because I never felt as though I would ever be accepted. Once I realized that regardless of who I am or what I do, some people just won’t be accepting of me and I am okay with that, because I can’t please everyone.
  3. Fear of disappointment: The feeling or condition of letting others (and yourself) down, especially if expectations aren’t met. Maybe you didn’t get into the school of your choosing, because you didn’t apply yourself enough. Perhaps you passed up some great career opportunities, only to find that what you are doing now, is not fulfilling to you. Either scenario, we’ve all felt disappointment.
  4. Fear of abandonment: The feeling or condition of being neglected or left alone. This is very touchy for me, because I don’t appreciate people walking out on someone, especially if they need you. I’m speaking more so about children, because there are some many who are abandoned by their parents, whether it be due to drugs, their own selfish reasons or they were simply unprepared for parenthood. In most cases, but not all, these individuals have a tendency of being emotionally withdrawn and steer clear of relationships (particularly intimate ones), because they are afraid the individual is going to do as others, and leave them.
  5. Fear of the unknown: Simply put, it’s the feeling or condition of “lacking knowledge”. This is the story of my life, because I fear the unknown all the time. I become anxious and obsessive, because I don’t know what the future holds for me, even though I have an idea. I’m almost 99% for certain, that writing will be my forever occupation, but because of that 1%, I often question, “Is it really”? This feeling is so debilitating, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life living in uncertainty, all because I’m unsure of “what’s next”?

Whatever you’re afraid of, I hope one day you’ll be able to conquer your fears and silence them!

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

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