I’m (NOT) depending on you

Are you one of those individuals that are so desperate and hungry for love, that you’ll stop at nothing to get it, even if it means losing yourself? Do you often place your happiness in the hands of others, hoping they’ll give to you what you can’t produce for yourself? Do you feel whole when you’re together and incomplete when you’re a part? If the love of your life walked away from you, would you feel as though you’ve left too? If yes to “all of the above”, you are emotionally dependent. You’ve forfeited the responsibility of your feelings and pawned them off on someone else, because you’re emotionally incapable of handling them.

Your self-worth and emotional well-being now belongs to the one you’re emotionally dependent upon, because you couldn’t depend on yourself to give to you, the very things you seek from others: self-love, validation and confirmation. You want to be told you’re loved and beautiful, yet you can’t love yourself or find your inner beauty. Like Instagram, you want to be confirmed and verified, because others opinion of you determines your self-worth. You need to know that someone is checking for you, because if they aren’t, then you’ll check out. You want your approval ratings to go up, yet your self-esteem is always down.

I get it! You just want to be loved, but what you really want, is for someone to love you in a way that you could never love yourself. When you’re with them, you’re happy and full of life. When you’re without them, you’re so hollow, to the point you can hear the sounds of desperation echoing on the inside. You’ve lost your attachment and the one person you thought you couldn’t live without, is forcing you to go on without them. Although it’s not voluntary, and they didn’t give you an option, you do have a choice, and that’s to love yourself! Quit relying on others to fill a void or stand in attendance for you, because you refuse to show up for your damn self!

Be present, not just in the moment, but for yourself! #selflove

Until next time my NOTE takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

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