“You’re dumb, stupid and never going to amount to anything”. “Nobody likes you and if I were you, I wouldn’t like you either”. “It took you 20 years to get your degree? Wow, what a waste of time”. “You are a complete failure and regardless of what you try to do in life, you won’t ever succeed”. Have any of you heard these statements? Better yet, have they been said to you? These are comments some of my students have shared with me, that were stated to them. Rather than tuning people out, they allowed them and their disgusting words to get in their mind. For years, they’ve lived with the thoughts and ideas of “never amounting to anything”, “being unintelligent” and “failing”, because they were told that would be their life.
Imagine spending almost two years, trying to undo damage that someone caused, as a result of their own shortcomings and insecurities. Although it’s been quite challenging, attempting to replace negative connotations with positive affirmations, it has also been very rewarding to know that my hard work and efforts have paid off. I used to let negative thoughts reside in my head, and I whenever I was unsuccessful at something, I would play back all the hurtful comments, and they just seemed to validate what people were saying. Although I’m not quite where I need to be in terms of dealing with others opinions, I have come to the realization that a lot of times your aggressor is spewing negativity on you, because someone did it to them.
They want to hurt others, because they don’t want to be in pain by themselves. However, you can’t allow their lies to become your truth. You are not a “hate” magnet, so there’s no reason why you should attract any. Allow people to be themselves without you being affected. They can talk all they want, but let them know, neither them nor their negativity no longer lives within you, because they’ve been evicted!
Until next time my NOTE takers!
Writefully yours,
Deetra La’Rue
