Within a year’s time, I lost three great (so I thought) friends. When I walked away from them, I didn’t realize how alone I’d be. The phone calls I looked forward to, the support I needed and the laughter I relied on, was no longer there. They were no longer there. I felt so alone, because the girl who was always in the crowd, was suddenly the only one left. This was very new to me, and rather than process the dissolution of those friendships, I thought it best to create new ones.
I needed some replacements, but what I really needed was to take advantage of the alone time. For once in my life, I was no longer the “crutch”, “garbage can” or “glue”. I didn’t feel the need to “keep things together”, so immediately, I fell apart at the “seams”. I was free to do what I wanted, without the strains of being what they “needed”. I felt good (damn good), but after awhile, I was back to being alone. Did I make the right decision? I began to wonder, because I had a sense of wanting to belong.
Maybe I needed them after all, so I wouldn’t feel so empty. There was a void, to say the least, but I eliminated the need to fill it. You know what? I was friendless and needed to BE…BY…MY….DAMN…SELF! Although they were not there and I was alone, not once did I consider myself deserted. Besides, I knew I had a friend, and no matter if people were around or not, He was always there.
You may not always be in the company of people, and that’s okay. You may not have a whole lot of friends, and that’s perfectly fine (trust me, it is). But, one thing you do have, is the comfort in knowing Jesus will never leave you nor desert you! You may experience a period of being desolate, but don’t become desperate to have someone in your life, especially when they aren’t supposed to be there.
Until next time my NOTE takers!