For a very long time, I felt lost (more like deserted), and I just didn’t know which way to go. If I went left, would things suddenly go “right” for me, or would I continue to wonder around endlessly, looking for my peace and joy…from someone/something else? Like you, I often found myself attaching my happiness to a person, place or thing, but the only thing that could make me happy, was me!
I remember when I was a teenager, I always dreamed of moving to New York, and eventually Atlanta, Georgia, because I thought that’s where my happiness, career, husband, and life was. If nothing or no one could fix what I was going through, then a move across the world would surely do it. I’ve been to Atlanta more times than I can count, and although I was happy when I got there, there was nothing that’d make me happier, than leaving.
The same can be said for New York. I visited NYC for almost a week, and although it was everything that I dreamed it would be and saw on t.v., within 3 days, I was ready to go. I was happy to have experienced the moment, but I was even more happier to get back home to Alabama. I didn’t understand fully that I was attaching my happiness to destinations, until I read an article by Psychologist Dr. Robert Holden, on “Destination Addiction”. He states that, “Destination Addiction is a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is found somewhere else”.
For years, I tied my happiness to different states and people. I foolishly thought a city could give me what I needed, and when I went, it was nothing but a temporarily delight. My happiness faded away, because I was not happy where I was. When I became an adult and entered into my 30’s, I found my happiness, and sad to say, it was in a place that I knew existed, but kept hidden for so long (me)! My happiness brought me joy, peace and more importantly, it added the value back to my life that I had taken away.
Everyone has a choice, so if you’re unhappy, that’s your choice! Quit tying your happiness to places, people or things, because they will disappoint you every time.
Until next time my NOTE takers!