I don’t feel like fighting today, so that’s it, you win
Call me lazy, worthless or whatever you may, but I’m pretty sure I’ve already done the same
Every new day is looking more and more like the old
And I don’t think I can continue to relive the past
I should be over this, but I’m not, so bear with me while I talk this shit out
I need to get a grip, but when I think I do, I lose my handle
I’m tired and have never worked so hard to live
Funny, because I make life seem so easy, right?
Um, yeah, about that…..I have a very good way of manipulating one’s perception
I’m what you would call the “Pen and Teller” of distortion
Because I’ll have you seeing one thing, when it’s something entirely different
Tricks aren’t necessarily my thing, but hey, when you’re desperate, you’ll use whatever you have
Speaking of have, have you ever wondered why people talk about the same thing over and over again?
For some, they’re in need of attention, others a cry for help, but for me, it’s cleansing
Every time I open my mouth to speak, I rid myself of toxins
Otherwise, if I held on to them, they’d kill me…..literally!
Sheesh! The struggle is real, but I want to be able to say I got through it
You probably don’t get me, understand me or my reason for doing what I do
And much like you I sometime feel the same
However, while you’re so busy trying to figure me out
I’m here wondering if I’ll make it out of bed today
My life is like a whirlpool, stuck in one never-ending cycle
But, although I’m not at my best, at least I didn’t give up
I know a lot of my posts are repetitive, hard, admittedly depressing and no doubt “dark”. However, the more and more I talk about my struggles, the closer I get to the “light”. For those of you still struggling to make it through the tunnel, hold on, “A change is going to come”!
Until next time my NOTE takers!
Writefully yours,
Deetra La’Rue
