I suffer from extreme acrophobia! I don’t like ladders, climbing to high places or being up top (unless it involves success). I stay clear of anything that will take me out of my comfort zone, and place me in a position of fear, and pedestals are one of them. I appreciate when people recognize me and present me with accolades, but I don’t like the “hype” that comes along with it.
I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I just don’t like being placed above others. I don’t like when people make me out to be more than I am, because the minute I don’t live up to their expectations, I immediately fall from their graces. I used to try to impress people and live my life for them, but I realized that no matter how good I was to them or did what they wanted or expected of me, when I did anything unacceptable in their eyes (no matter how small it was), they turned on me.
This is one of the very reasons I DO NOT LIKE TITLES! I’ve been labeled as a role model, inspiring, encouraging and the list continues. Although I appreciate it all, I am human and I make mistakes, and will continue too, as long as I live. I’m not saying they are intentional, but what I am saying is, I’m not always going to get it right. I’m not always going to be everything to everybody or the “star”, as my church likes to put it. I don’t mind people looking up to me (no pun intended), I just don’t want the persecution that comes along with it.
I speak about my church a lot, because they are some of my biggest supporters. They brag on me constantly and have expectations for me, some which I’m pretty sure I haven’t met. However, even I have to tell them, “I’m terrified of heights, so NO pedestals please”! I’m just Deetra; a Christ lover and writer. It may not mean much to you, but those are the only two titles I’ll accept. People will hold you in high regards, and then drop you low, when they feel you don’t rise up to their expectations. Remember, those expectations are their feelings, don’t make them your own!
Until next time my NOTE takers!