Month: February 2019

She found out who she was

Posted on by Deetra La'Rue

At the age of 34, I became a multi-millionaire! It took me a long time, a lot of sacrifice and hard work to get to this point, but ultimately, I MADE IT! I used to sit and dream about this type of wealth, but to actually have it is way more than anything I could have ever hoped for. Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed by my blessings and am unsure how to handle and process it all, because I’m still in awe of God’s work.

Who would have ever thought, the poor, black girl from Montgomery, AL, would be “sitting on top of the world”, because being apart of it was just not enough! I had to have it, and I had to have it ALL! I dodged bullets (bad relationships/people), climbed mountains (obstacles) and tried to run past failure, but it got me. What? You thought I could outrun him? So did I, but he was too fast and always knew when to catch me.

Once I got around him, I was well on my way. I earned two degrees, received a promotion, wrote and published two books, launched my own website and became a successful business woman (owner). At that point, nobody could tell me nothing, because I found out who I was! I knew my worth and made sure everyone else did too! There were times people would say “You ain’t all that”, but my confidence said, “Speak for yourself”.

Still in disbelief, people say, “Who do you think you are”, to which I firmly and confidently reply, “Deetra La’Rue, Author, Writer, CEO and Owner of CH 1 Bookstore and Lounge”. You see, I’m kind of a big deal, but I don’t make a “big deal” out of it, because I’m no better than anyone else, but I know what I do best, and that’s succeed! I have goals and I’m checking them off as I go.

I couldn’t keep dreaming and watching others do it. I couldn’t keep trying to “live through someone else”, who didn’t even know I existed. I couldn’t keep delaying the things in which I had been praying for. I couldn’t keep saying, “I wish”, “One day” or “I’ll be glad when….” I woke up, got up and I worked my *** off to be able to live and enjoy the life that I have.

I didn’t step on anyone to get here….I didn’t sleep with anyone for a position….instead, I created and built my own! I’m a 34-year-old multi-millionaire and having the time of my life! When I discovered who I was, I realized my potential and power! Make no mistake about it; I DESERVE to be where I’m at, all because I figured out who I am!

People will try, but when you are confident and know who you are, nobody can tell you who you aren’t!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

It’s not about you

Posted on by Deetra La'Rue

A goal of mine when I started this forum, was to post every…..single….day! Needless to say, I haven’t necessarily been on my “P’s and Q’s”. Before I post, I ALWAYS ask God, “What do you want me to tell these people”? After sitting in deep thought for some minutes or two, I end up saying something, although that “something” may not be what I want to share. However, it ends up being something that we feel the readers need.

I’ve never been fond of the way I was raised or the life experiences I went through, and I sure as heck didn’t want to make others aware. Although I couldn’t understand why I was being tortured (so, I thought), I just knew I had to be going through what I did for a reason. My reason used to be as punishment for something I’d done in my life, but He forgives all, so that was no longer an option.

As crazy as this may sound, I learned that my misfortunes needed to happen. (1): It was all apart of God’s plans (2): There was a lesson in it for me and (3): There was a blessing in it for someone else. Part of the things I went through (I feel), was to be able to help others who were about to make their way through where I had been, or who were trying to find a way out. As much as I questioned and asked “Why me”, in all honesty, it wasn’t even about me.

It was about “her”, “him”, “they” and “them” all along….it was never about Deetra! I selfishly choose to put the attention back on me! When I took me out of it, and realized God was using me to help them, the struggles, heartache and pain, all made sense. I can’t begin to tell you the lives I’ve impacted, transformed or made a difference in, because I used my pain to help them get through theirs.

Because I was able to identify with them, I could help! Because I had been through the trenches and they the terrains, I could help! Because I had been through the fiery furnace and they the pits of hell, I could help! Because I said, “Yes Lord, Your will and not mine”, I could help! You never know what your situation may do to help others, but you can’t see it, because you’re too busy trying to get the hell out!

I’m not asking or recommending anyone to stay in a detrimental situation, to obtain experience to pass on to the next person. What I am saying is, sometimes it’s not about you, but them….and the only way you can help them, is if you’ve gone through it yourself! I’ve fallen on many of occasions, and the only way I was able to get back up, was on the strength of someone else’s story. Keep shining! You’re someone’s light in their darkness.

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

99-1

Posted on by Deetra La'Rue

How does it feel to be outnumbered? Defeated? The feeling that the whole world is against you? Take a number, I’ve been waiting for you. Sometimes it feels easier to give in, than to stand up and fight. You ever get so tired of having to defend yourself to people, who have no value, place or purpose in your life? Great! Let’s link up and chat! Hopefully, by the end of this post, your feelings of defeat will be no more.

In all seriousness, I’ve always fought my whole life, so what people are doing to me now, shouldn’t come as any surprise. If anything, I should “expect” it, but we’ll talk about expectations at a later time. For instance, there are these “special” ladies that I know. For whatever reason, these “precious”, “sweet”, “caring” (I’m being totally facetious here) women often get the courage to try and outnumber me.

They hurl insults and threats, and fight with the other to be the first to “bring me down”. Time after time, I feel the sting from their thrown rocks, but it’s not enough to knock me down. If anything, when I see them, my feet are planted so firmly in the ground, that even their hurtful words couldn’t “blow me away”.

To be honest, I’ve never been exposed to so much jealously and hate, but I’m thankful to have withstood it all. I don’t know their reason (if any), why they despise me so much. I’ve tried to have conversations as to what the issue is, but somehow nobody ever seems to have one. All they know, it’s me! I’m flattered and thankful for the “compliment”, because it warms my heart to know people think the “world of me”, and I don’t even think of them.

You see, I’ve learned that some women are intentionally messy and intimidated by strong women. Because they aren’t comfortable with themselves or perceive you as a threat, they’ll do whatever they can to make you uncomfortable. This is why it’s so important to have high self-esteem and confidence, because during times like this, nothing or no one can tear you down!

My confidence, personality and looks are a solid 10, so there’s no way I’m going to allow a “struggling 2” to knock me off my high horses. Yes, I’m bragging, because I’ve come too far to allow what anyone say or do to compromise how I feel about me. It’s no wonder that when people can’t handle me by themselves, they recruit others for help. The sad thing about it is, the recruits are so gullible and have no mind of their own, that they allow others to think for them.

A lot of people have passed on the opportunity to get to know/befriend me, because their “friend” told them not to. Having no mind of your own has got to hurt! However, no matter how many people they draft, it’s still not enough to form an all-star team to beat me! I don’t laugh anymore to keep from crying…I laugh now, because I give them effort for trying!

I saw this post on Instagram that read, “Some people are about to be sorry they missed the opportunity to get to know you, because they listened to what somebody else said about you”. I feel soooo sorry for those people, but am glad that they are one less group that I don’t have to worry about!

People know when you have a lot to offer, are special or possess wonderful qualities in you, that they wished they had for themselves. Therefore, they’ll try to defeat you, outnumber you or do whatever they can to bring about your demise. Although it may be tough at times, remember they can only do to you what you allow them to!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Don’t know, don’t care

Posted on by Deetra La'Rue

I don’t know why it is so hard for people (strangers at that) to just mind their own da** business! Yesterday during one of my morning routines of getting coffee and a bagel, this guy decided to openly chastise me for wearing a leg-barring dress in 65 degree weather. If you’re in Alabama, then you know the weather hasn’t quite made up its mind what it wants to do.

My first thoughts were to “bless his heart” with some unkind words, but since my attitude has changed, my mind followed suit. Instead, I looked at him, particularly his wedding band, and couldn’t figure out for the life of me, why this stranger was concerned about another stranger’s clothes. I mean seriously dude, you have a wife!

Maybe he spoke out, because he’s used to usurping power, but you can’t control someone you have no authority of. Then too, I’m not sure why he felt so comfortable expressing his feelings to me, but I made sure to express mine. I informed him that he spoke to me in a way that appeared as though he wanted me to care, but I couldn’t….and I still don’t!

From his rebuttal, he’s obviously not a fan of outspoken women, but I made it very clear, I don’t like controlling men…especially one who doesn’t stay in their place. After leaving, he still tried to continue to “make his case”, but at that point, he was “overruled” and I presented him with my “closing arguments”.

Besides, I don’t know this man, so I don’t care what the hell he has to say, let alone thinks of me. To be honest, that has been one of the stories of my life. People always want you to care, especially as it pertains to their (unsolicited) views of you. However, I am not impressed with unwanted input!

As I’ve stated before, “I would care, but this doesn’t involve me”! I’m not sure the reason for him affronting me or making such a big deal, but I’m almost for certain, whatever it was/is didn’t “involve” me! People will pick and try to cause drama for you, but don’t subscribe to their “issues”.

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Still here

Posted on by Deetra La'Rue

Anybody that knows me, knows that I am notoriously private (well, I try to be). Sometimes, I’m pretty easy to talk to and other times I’m not (at least that’s what I’ve been told). As I’ve gotten older and wiser, I’ve let my guard down (just a little) and try to be transparent, because I never know who I may help along the way.

It’s no secret that I share a lot of my personal hardships and life experiences on this forum. What’s simply a “post” to you, is more than words; it’s my life! As discreet as I try to be, it’s no secret my battle with depression and anxiety, amongst other things. However, one of the biggest things I’ve struggled with, is whether or not I deserved to “still be here”.

Last year, one of the biggest and bravest things I decided to do, was want more for myself. I decided that I was no longer going to be held captive to my past, my mistakes and most important, the negative thoughts I had of myself. Besides, I couldn’t fault people for not feeling or thinking positive of me, when I didn’t require it from myself.

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is one of many organizations that I support (for “obvious” reasons). During one of my many days of online shopping (lol), I came across this jewelry maker on Etsy, and one of the most popular items she sold, was “still here” necklaces, that were followed by the semi-colon sign.

Well, if you are a stranger to the MI (Mental Illness) world, the semi-colon represents a “pause in one’s story, but not the end”. Depression and anxiety was not the end of me (although it tried to destroy me), so I was eager to purchase a necklace, support the cause and allow others to see how brave I was.

My bravery and transparency has allowed others to come forth and share their story. One of my students came to me yesterday, after months of being absent, stating to me why she hadn’t been as active as she needs to be. She shared with me that she is struggling very bad with depression and anxiety, so much, that she literally had to force herself out of bed, and even she doesn’t know how she was able to do it.

Immediately, I felt her anguish, pain and most of all, I felt for her, because not too long ago, I was “trying to get up out of that bed”. I knew then, why I was “still here”….

I don’t care what you are going through or have been through. Never question why you are “still here”…just be thankful that you are!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Get comfortable

Posted on by Deetra La'Rue

Never change yourself to fit the description of what someone else says you should be, because in the end, you might not like the person you’ve become! I’ve always had people against me, particularly women, who stopped at nothing to tear me down. No matter what I did….it wasn’t good enough! No matter what the issue was….I was to blame. But, no matter what they did to sabotage me….I was never destroyed!

Time and time again, my strength is tested, and regardless of how hard the battles or bullsh*t gets, I still win! My enemies are strategic in their plans to bring about my demise, but I’m still standing, leaving them baffled as to why I haven’t fallen yet. After many failed attempts, they try to break me with their words. They talk about me to no end, and when they do…..I let them.

They judge me based upon someone else’s feelings of me, and when they do…..I let them. They try to make me out to be the bad guy, and when they do……I let them. I “let them” do a lot of things, but one thing I won’t, is let them get comfortable! Haters, enemies and jealous individuals have no place in my life, nor will I lower myself to their level, just so they can be seated.

Despite how bad things get, I just keep getting better. I’m no longer hurt by the things that used to hurt me, and when people invite me to a fight, I don’t RSVP to their games. I’m a self-respecting businesswoman, entrepreneur and millionaire (it’s coming) and I’ve got too much to lose! I’m being elevated higher and higher, so the more I go up, the less I’m able to see down (I don’t need to see my haters anyway).

Don’t allow anyone to get comfortable with misery in your life, just because they are uncomfortable in theirs!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

When your feelings are tender, and the truth is hard

Posted on by Deetra La'Rue

As much as I like to think I’m tougher than nails, sometimes I’m softer than Downy. For the most part, I’m one tough cookie, but there are moments I feel like I didn’t bake long enough, because I can be “soft to the touch”. Having said that, I am often guilty of having “tender” feelings.

We’ve all heard the expression, “The truth hurts”, and although there are times we don’t necessarily want to hear it, it’s what we need. I used to consider myself a know-it-all, but truth be told, I don’t know how to handle the truth sometimes. If someone offers me constructive criticism, I don’t perceive it as that, but take it as judgement.

I’m clearly aware that this is not the best approach or attitude to have, but I’m working on that. Besides, if I went the rest of my life thinking that everybody was out to get me, or allow what people have to say about me negatively impact me, then I wouldn’t be living at all.

My perspective on people’s “truth” has completely changed, and I now see that they weren’t intentionally trying to hurt my feelings, but help me. Their help has allowed me to grow, evolve into a better person, and “toughen up”. Although I still have my softer side and am “tender” when I need to be, I’m so grateful for the “tough love”, because it has increased my strength.

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

I feel good when I “feel good” about me

Posted on by Deetra La'Rue

Everyday I try to give myself positive affirmations, because if I relied on others to do it for me, my self-esteem would be pretty much non-existent. I make sure I reassure myself that I am beautiful, good enough and more than worth the wait! To be totally honest, I don’t feel good, when I don’t “feel good” about me.

I’ve probably mentioned this a few times in past posts, but I used to look to others for validation or to reaffirm what I thought, I thought (no typo) about myself. However, when the validations weren’t pouring in, I started bleeding out. I felt hurt and offended almost, that nobody seemed to feel the way about me, the way I felt about me.  Am I making sense or causing confusion?

Whichever the case, I thought what I needed from them (whoever they were) was what I needed for me. Essentially speaking, no matter how many compliments I got, praises or “Amen”, it didn’t make me feel good, because I didn’t feel good about me. I know deep down inside, I have a lot of attributes and plenty to offer, but I had a hard time believing and seeing it.

Rather than throw another pity party for myself, my positive affirmations got stronger and so did I. I had to learn that I couldn’t rely on anyone to make me feel good about myself…..that’s my job! I couldn’t expect anyone to love me “for me” (not speaking in the context of who I am)……that’s my job! I couldn’t expect anyone to do anything for me, that I knew I needed to be doing for myself……again, that’s my job!

When I started to feel good about myself, overall, I felt good! When I let go of what I thought I needed from people or to hear from them, I felt even better! When I let go of the thought of letting go and “JUST LET GO”, I felt my absolute BEST! A handful of regrets later, I STILL feel good! I was so inspired to transfer what I had done for me to help others, that I created a “Positive Affirmation (I AM MORE THAN….) Board for my students.

On the board, there are blank balloons, and anytime they are feeling weighed down with something or someone, they are to write it on the balloon and thumb tack it on the board. In essence, they are releasing the balloon/s (the negatives) and giving themselves positive affirmation/reassurance that they are enough and “more than” whatever they write inside the balloons.

Have you “released” any balloons lately?

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Best player, but never picked

Posted on by Deetra La'Rue

Recess during my elementary days were pretty rough! Every time it came time to play dodgeball, I cringed, because I knew one of two things were bound to happen: either I would be picked last or not at all! Both were a hard pill to swallow, because I couldn’t figure out for the life of me, why I was the best player, but never picked?

A little over a month ago, I submitted my book to Books-A-Million, to have it distributed and carried world-wide in their stores. I was so excited as I submitted my pitch (letter) and gave them what I thought to be the best reasons as to why they should “pick me”. With my book enclosed, I sealed up my letter, mailed them off, and anxiously waited (and prayed) to hear a favorable response.

Weeks had passed, and still no response, but I kept saying to myself, “Any day now, you are going to have your books sold in Books-A-Million”. That not only kept the suspense going, but it made me feel good about the wait. Besides, “good things come to those who wait”. Although I have “patience” issues, I still held out, because I just knew I was about to scratch a goal off of my goals list.

However, the only thing I ended up scratching off, was BAM as a distributor of my book. Sad to say, they sent me an email composed in what seemed to be a 200 font (I guess to make sure I read it), indicating they had decided not to accept my book. As the blood left my face, I said to myself, “What? Do you not know who I am? Do you know you have decided not to ‘pick the best player’ on the team”?

For the first couple of hours, I sat in disbelief, had a conversation with God, and then placed the rejection email in my “Their Loss” folder. Although I wanted to, I couldn’t get upset at them for passing on the opportunity of a lifetime. It was their decision to make and obviously they went with what they thought was best. Needless to say, I know God has my best interest at heart, and I’m confident BAM was not the “best” thing He has for me!

There are going to be times you are the best player on the team, and no matter how bad you want to play, you just aren’t going to get picked. However, you have to know that you are worthy of the starting position, and although one team might bench you, there’s going to be another one that puts you in their starting lineup! Whatever you do, keep playing…..one day you’re going to get picked!

Until next time my note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue