Because they said I couldn’t

People love to tell you who you are, when they’re still trying to figure themselves out. Crazy as it is, I LOVE when people try to fit me in a box or set limitations on me, because I “Houdini” them every time! I always escape their traps and leave them wondering how I managed to break free of something they were for certain would “hold me back or down”.

I’m no Leo (Libra’s RULE), but folks gotta understand, you can’t cage a lion and expect it to remain captive, when it’s used to being “wild and free”. Besides, I’m extremely claustrophobic and don’t do well in closed spaces, so there’s no way I’m going to be confined to someone else’s ideas of me, and what I should be (or doing). #haveseveralseats #anentirestadiumfull

Sometimes I have to laugh to keep from crying (for them), because there’s nothing more sad, pitiful and pathetic, for someone to try and extinguish your “fire”, because they can’t seem to keep their flame burning. I’ve had many naysayers in my life and people who didn’t believe in me, because they thought that I wasn’t capable.

Rather than retaliate, I just used the negative energy they projected towards me as ammunition to do everything they said I couldn’t! As a Pastor once said, “Although the battle is raging, the war is already won”. Even though the fight has yet to end, I am a victor, because I keep fighting for what “they” told me I couldn’t have……and that’s the right to be who I am, without people trying to conform me into who they want me to be.

A lot of people are hurting! They can’t take their foot off the break and excel, because they’ve allowed someone to “stop” them from doing what they want to do. I consider myself a bit of a show off at times, so I fully encourage (and welcome) people to try and put a stop sign in front of me, because I RUN right through that sh…..EVERY time! #sorrynotsorry

Listen, give your critics the BEST seat in the house, and let them watch your success! I guarantee you, they’ll leave wondering how you managed to escape, when they failed to do all they could to trap you!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

What are you waiting for?

As one year ends and another begins, I look forward to new beginnings and more blessings, but dread hearing from the people who are “waiting for January 01”, to do x, y and z. I’ve never understood why people need the start of a new year to make a change, eliminate people/things or set and accomplish goals, when there is no time like NOW!

I’m not sure if they think that something magical is supposed to miraculously happen in the new year, that can’t take place in the year that their in or not, but I just wish people wouldn’t prolong their goals, dreams and lives even, because they are waiting to enter into a new year, that they might not be fortunate enough to “make it in”.

That’s not to say they won’t live to see the new year, but as the saying goes, “Why put off tomorrow the things you can do today”? As I’ve mentioned before, I’m the type of person who knows exactly what I want, and will stop at nothing until I get it. Besides, my impatience is not going to allow me to wait until the new year or the right moment to start pursuing the things I want.

I don’t believe in sitting on opportunities, because I feel as though I may get another chance at them later. Then too, the way my “luck” used to be set up, later may never come, so I have to act now! You’ll never do what you want to do, be who you want to be or accomplish what you set out to do, because you keep waiting on the right time…..when the only thing you’re doing is wasting it!

If you want to live your best life…….DO IT NOW!

If you want to pursue the career of your dreams…….DO IT NOW!

If you want to reach for the stars……….DO IT NOW!

Quit waiting on tomorrow, when there’s nothing on your calendar TODAY!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Can’t hardly wait

Sometimes I can’t stand the fact that I’m so “impulsive”, as one of my students so kindly (insert sarcasm) put it. “Mrs. B., sometimes I feel like you don’t have any patience with us, because you seem to be in a hurry a lot”, was the words my student boldly said to me. For once, I didn’t argue, because I know how I can be in a bit of a “rush” at times.

I’m not sure why though, because it’s not like I’m racing with someone, in hopes of beating them across the finish line. I’m the type of person who knows exactly what I want and will stop at nothing to get it, but it’s the waiting to get it that makes me antsy. If I don’t get what I want when I want it, then I start to take matters into my own hands, and try to speed up the process.

However, it’s sometimes what we go through in the “process” that prepares us for what we’re waiting for. I have a lot of goals, dreams and aspirations that I have yet to fulfill, and I find myself sitting wondering why they haven’t been attained. It’s not that I’m lazy or don’t put in the work to get what I want, but maybe God doesn’t think I’m ready to be where I want to be……just yet!

Hence, enduring the process to get to the outcome, which sometimes means waiting. It sucks, but at the same time, I know it’ll be worth it in the end. I’ve learned a big lesson out of this all, and it’s when I can’t hardly wait for something and try to rush my way through, I often end up not getting the outcome I desperately wanted. It pays to just keep still and be patient!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

When you’re interested and he’s NOT….available

“Hey, do me a favor. Ask the guy in the “Communications Department” (not his true office…I don’t know if he reads here or not) if he has a girlfriend”, were the words I stated to my friend, Jeri. “Why can’t you do it, she said”? “Because, I don’t want him to know it’s me”! “Okay Dee, but I just hope he doesn’t think it’s me either”! I laughed as I hung up the phone, because I thought it to be so silly to have someone ask someone that I like, if they have a girlfriend, when I could’ve just done it myself!

I am probably one of the most boldest, confident and in-your-face people you’ll ever meet. I have no qualms approaching or asking a man for his number (sorry my old-fashioners), because the worst he can do is not give it to me. Either way, I’m not losing! However, I just could not bring myself to ask the guy in the Comm. Dept. for his number, let alone if he has a girlfriend. I kept running the scenarios in my head of what he would say to my question, or to me, once he found out it was I who was admiring him.

Whenever I would see or talk to him, my face would like up as bright as Times Square, I’m for certain my eyes “twinkled” and I felt like I was in 7th grade again, because I was crushing BAD! Not wanting him “see me sweat”, I tried to straighten up when I was around him, but I felt myself bending outta shape every time. I’m not sure if it’s because he is an AWESOME listener, extremely attentive, kind, shy (total turn-on) charismatic or plain ole good-looking, but I do know, it’s just “something” about him!

He and I continued to friendly converse with one another, and I no longer entertained the idea of the “unknown” that was plaguing me. Lo and behold, after my friend was done digging in the dirt for me, she delicately placed the shovel in my lap and said, “He’s in a relationship”. Well, d*mn! That sucked! Come to find out, that “unknown” that I was feeling, was that “this” (meaning him) was just too good to be true. Clearly not happy, I still accepted the response and remained respectful of his relationship.

By now, he knows it’s me and as suspected, whenever I’m in his company or pass him in the halls, I feel so awkward. I don’t know if it’s due to the fact that he knows it’s me, or because I like someone who’s in a relationship. Whichever the case, I’d NEVER cross the line or put someone in a position where they could not (or won’t, I should say) tell me NO! Yes, I understand that people cross the line all the time at their choosing, but I wouldn’t present them with the option to do so with me. Make sense?

Having said that, you have probably found yourself (or know of someone) in a similar situation. You feel so strongly about this person and they about you, so quite naturally you want to make the connection. Don’t! It’s not worth it, and although there are some people lying and waiting to “risk it all”, don’t let them do it at your expense. Just think, would you want your significant other to treat you in such a way? My sentiments exactly!

He and I had the opportunity to converse about the situation, and although it didn’t pan out the way I wanted it to, I’m very fortunate that he has been completely upfront and honest with me, respectful of his relationship and still wants to keep our work relationship and open line of communication with one another in tact. Honestly, I’m not mad at the situation, and I even joked and told my friend Jeri to give me 72 hours and I’ll have him out of my system!

It’s okay to like people, just as long as you like them from behind “the line”!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Are you really “living your best life”?

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined. ~Thoreau

I get so tired of the overused expression, “I’m living my best life”, when what I see is anything but “best”. People have a tendency of putting on a façade, to give others the impression that they are having the time of their lives, when they wish they lived the life they pretend to lead.

Monthly trips, new “fits” (clothes) and a different MCM or WCW (Man Crush Monday or Woman Crush Wednesday), and none of it can still make you happy or probably ever will, because you’re too busy living your life for others or to appease them, to say the least.

But, what for? What do you owe them, and why do you to pay them back with your “happiness”? You shouldn’t compromise who you are or your joy, just so someone can click “like”, “share” or label you as “goals”. The sad thing is, they’re striving to be like you, when even you don’ t know who the hell you are. How can you, when you’ve put on a façade for so long?

Are you really “living your best life”? “The life you’ve imagined”? Or, the one others imagined you to have? You’re still trying to please people and keep your “image” going, when you’re falling apart at the d*mn seams. You can’t even stitch yourself together, because you’ve got to upload the next “lie” (insert emoji eye roll). #byefelicia

When you finally decide to establish the life you want for yourself and go after your dreams, only then will you be “living your best life”. However, you’ve got to be prepared that your “real life” will probably be ridiculed, go “unliked” and may even be deemed boring, but who cares? It’s yours! Don’t waste another minute trying to be someone else’s “goals” when you haven’t even accomplished yours!

Don’t misconstrue your truth to keep up with the demands of your lie! Be who you are, do what you want to do, and only then, will you be “living your best life”!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

He’s bigger

Yet what you suffer now is nothing compared to the Glory He will reveal to us later. ~Romans 8:18

A lot of times when people are in a storm, they tend to get rained on, because they don’t know how to seek shelter. In this particular case, God is our refuge. I hadn’t posted in awhile, partly because I wasn’t inspired and then my family and I somehow managed to get caught in the eye of a big “storm”. Although I’ve encountered many before, I have never experienced one as large as this one.

We are currently going through a storm with one of our family members, and she is not doing well. Based upon certain people’s reactions and words of expression, I feel like a lot of them have given up on her and hope, if they even had any to begin with. The odds are stacked against her and although she is probably in the biggest fight of her life, I know someone who is bigger than her battle.

Although it’s personally her fight, I’ve been conditioned to believe that “when one fights, we all fight”….and fight is exactly what I’ve been doing since I first learned of her (our) bad news. Anytime I’m met with opposition or affronted with any problems (especially ones I can’t handle alone), I automatically go into defense mode. I put on my heaviest and strongest armor and I prepare for war.

For me, that armor has been God and prayer! I know that there isn’t anything I can do medically to help her, but I know someone who can. That’s why, no matter the severity of the problem or if there appears to be no chances of getting out, I know “He” can do anything exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ever ask for (or think of). All we’ve got to do is have faith, hope and believe!

Yes, people give up easily and run at the site of adversity, but God is happy to stand in the gap for us, because He knows nothing is to big for Him to handle. In all honesty, it’s not to big for you to handle either, when all you have to do is turn it over to Him. After all, that’s what He wants you to do anyway. God doesn’t like to see His children hurt; that’s why He chose to suffer for us in the first place.

I know you maybe going through a storm of your own and feel like there isn’t shelter or the sun in site, but there is. You don’t have to go through this battle alone, but you do have to have hope and faith….even if it’s just the “size of a mustard seed”. Keep praying, keep trusting, and keep believing that He is bigger than anything you are going through……and He will get you through!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Don’t reject rejection

“I’ve met rejection many times in my life, and although I’m not a “fan” of it, I still respect it!

I don’t think anyone can say with honesty, that they like being told “no”! Whether it be “no”, you didn’t get the job, “no”, you didn’t get accepted into our school or the dreadful, “no”, I’m not interested in you! #Yikes……Talk about a blow to the heart! Although you’ve been hit time and time again, usually, it’s what comes after the “hit” that’s most important.

**Helps you off the ground** Okay, now that you’re up, let’s process why you got knocked down in the first place, and was it even worth the “fall”. So, you’ve put in application after application, and still no response, or it’s the response that you were not looking for, “Thank you for your interest in our company, but….and usually, it’s the “but” that gets us, because we know what’s coming next.

Here’s the thing: You’re not for everybody, and chances are, you’re going to get overlooked, passed on and rejected many more times in your life. However, are you going to keep being “hit”, or are you going to “put your dukes up” (hands)? You’ve got to learn that a “no” or rejection is not the end of the world, or the reason you should give up. No matter how much you are affected by the outcome you didn’t want, you’ve got to keep going.

You can’t sit around harboring resentment towards companies or people, because they didn’t choose you. It’s not to say you aren’t a good person or are incapable of doing the job, it’s just to say that there was somebody better than or more qualified than you. Not that you’ve received your “NO” and have processed “WHY”, let’s move to Phase 2: getting past the rejection.

I know we’d all like to think we’re perfect or don’t need room for growth or improvement, but let me be the first to say, LIES you tell! LOL! Everybody can improve themselves, no matter how big or small it is. Lay all your cards out on the table and do a self-inventory check. Figure out what area you are weakest in, and come up with a strategy as to how you can improve and become stronger.

It’ll probably do you some good to talk with your peers, family or friends, because they maybe able to see things you can’t. Trust me, I’ve been there before, when I didn’t realize the error of my ways, because I felt I didn’t have any (only the people who were constantly down my throat). It wasn’t until I solicited the perspective of my sisters and couple of friends, that I realized there was indeed something there, that I was either overlooking or simply didn’t want to acknowledge (see me growing? LOL).

After I took their perspective into consideration, I began to flourish and I’ve only gotten better! So, now that you’ve been rejected and processed the “why”, now you know how to get past it. The next time you’re rejected, don’t get mad….just say to yourself, “Okay, what could I have done differently”? Re-direct that would be anger into your strategy and work until you get the results (or response) you want!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

When your peace of mind is worth more than the heartbreak

Being the bigger person sucks at times! The pressure is always on you to take the high road, when all you want to do is take your tormentor down the horrendous road, they’ve dragged you on for so long. I’m angry, my blood boils and I’m doing everything within my power, to stop my heart from beating with hate. At this point, I’m hurt and just want to give in to my desires, as wrongful as they may be. Besides, it’s costing me too much; my peace of mind for one!

I can’t always say I’ve been around good situations or the very best of people. More times than I’d like to admit, I was involved in a lot of unnecessary and hurtful arguments/disagreements. Expletives were yelled, voices reached their highest pitch and feelings were hurt, although no one wanted to admit it. My eyes are burning with rage, as I sit here taking a trip down memory lane.

No longer wanting to be apart of the problem, I began to turn a blind eye to all the envy and hate. I silenced myself in arguments and took a backseat to the drama, so I thought. Although I was in “attendance”, I promise you I wasn’t “present”. I became a punching bag, and I started allowing people to say whatever they wanted without striking back. Besides, it wouldn’t have done any good anyway, because their blows were much more lethal than any defense I could give.

Instead, I just sat there and took the beating……punch, after punch, after punch. I kept telling myself, “It’s okay. You’re not affected by any of this”. In fact, I was affected. I was angry, extremely bothered and wanted revenge! I couldn’t just sit back and allow someone to continue to treat me any less than I was, just because they felt that way about themselves. I….WAS……MAD! Not for the simple fact of how I was being treated, but because my peace of mind was gone! How could I allow someone to take the only thing I knew they couldn’t have?

I had to get my peace of mind back, because to me, it was worth more than the heartbreak of not having a relationship with someone very close to me. Then too, their actions alone proves to me, they not only don’t care about my feelings, but they don’t want a relationship with me. But, you know what? I’m totally fine with that!

I’ve settle on the idea that I can love people from afar. I don’t have to have a relationship with certain people, because I may never get the one I desire anyway. However, my peace of mind is too valuable for me to have it ruined, because of how someone else feels about me. I shouldn’t have to pay for their feelings! Rather than stay entangled in a position that I didn’t create for myself, I just chose to walk away. It’s not always the easiest thing to do, but it’s for the absolute best!

*****Whispers to self, I would care, but this doesn’t involve me!*****

Until next time Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

Breathe! You’re going to make it!

Ever felt like you couldn’t breathe, no matter how much you gasped for air? You probably felt like a fish out of water, suffocated or caged almost, because the pressures of life was just too overwhelming. You’re tired, exasperated and struggling to survive and keep up. Debt is steadily accruing, bills seem to come more than they need to, and you have more problems than you do money, to solve them.

You’re up to your eyeballs in frustration, because you don’t know if things will get better or take a turn for the worse. By now, you’re probably spiraling out of control and feel as if you’re losing it. The life you was once in control of, is now driving you. At this point, you start to question whether or not you’ve made the right life choices. Not satisfied with your decisions, you become pessimistic and hard on yourself.

Sadly, this causes the waves of defeat to rage even more. This is it! You now have feelings that your life is over, well before it even started. With no hope to grab onto, you slowly begin to slip under. Everything turns to darkness, and you’ve settled on the idea that things just aren’t going to get any better. At the point of no return, suddenly, you hear a voice from the rafters of the shallow water, and you fight to come up for air.

Tired, exhausted and unsure how much longer you can continue to take the dangerous currents, you keep on swimming. Alas, you’ve reached the top, and you smile, because you know your help has arrived! Struggling to stay afloat, you see a familiar face in the distance, but you can’t make it out. Your vision is blurred, because the thrashing from the waves has irritated your eyes.

Immediately, the silhouette you see is now clearer than ever! With His hands outstretched, you’re pulled from the raging waters and back into His arms of safety. Now that you’ve been pulled from the rafters, it’s time to start making some changes…..and positive ones at that! Establish your purpose and know your “Why”, because that is going to keep you motivated and help you stay focused amidst life’s many trials and tribulations.

Prioritize, get organized and become a better manager of your finances. The unexpected will happen and raining days will come, but so will “the Son”. No matter how difficult your circumstances become, don’t ever feel it’s easier to “tap out” from life. You’re going to continue to experience some highs and lows (some of us more lows than others), but don’t ever stop swimming, because when He speaks, even the waters (problems) “be still”.

You can now take off your life jacket. B.R.E.A.T.H.E. You’re going to make it!

Until next my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

No longer the baby

“Honey, your father and I have something to tell you. You’re going to be a big sister”! As you watch their face light up, your world has just turned to darkness, because the spot (light) you’ve held for so long, is now gone. 1000 thoughts are racing through your mind, but the one that sticks out the most is, “What does that mean for me”?

Like the individual in the story above, a lot of you can probably relate. However, I’m not speaking about having a new sibling, but feelings of being replaced, left out or forgotten about, even. Sort of like your Freshmen year in college, you got all the attention, because everybody was curious as to who the “newbies” were on campus.

You probably experienced extra special treatment, because people wanted to ensure your first year was a success. Then, you became a Sophomore, and your title of once being the “new kid on the block” changed. Suddenly, you’re struggling to fit in and find a spot. “No longer the baby”, you feel left out and unimportant.

You’ve been shunned, and the light that once shone on you, is now shining on someone else. You’re desperate…..and will do whatever it takes to regain the attention and love you’re all too fond of. Stopping at nothing, you do all that you can to get people to “notice” you again, even if it means changing who you are.

Stop! Before you mess up a good thing (meaning you), I’d like you to consider this: positions change! You’re not meant to stay in the same spot forever, so don’t get comfortable! So many people miss out on great opportunities, because they’ve become complacent with where they’re at, and don’t want to move.

Advancement in employment is declined, because nobody wants the responsibility of leading (some people are good and perfectly okay, with following). Some women pass on a good husband, and men a good wife, because they’re too busy trying to turn the one they have into the one they want. Good luck with that!

The opportunity of a lifetime can come your way, but you refuse to give up your “something for nothing”. Sadly, you let your blessings pass you by, because you’re afraid of what the “shift” is going to do for you. However, you’ve got to understand that change is inevitable and sometimes it’s what we need most! You may be in a pretty good position, but there is something more promising and better on the way! All you need to do is get uncomfortable and move!

Until next time my Note takers!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue