Cinderella ain’t dead!

Keep dreaming….happy endings still come true! ~Deetra La’Rue

I’m a hopeless romantic, sometimes a little too hopeful, strung out on the idea of being in love.  There was a point in time in which I thought I was, but the idea quickly faded, soon after he did. I can remember experiencing what I thought to be my Prince Charming, however, he lacked the charm and was anything but royal. As a child, I’ve always been fond of fairytales, and found myself caught up in planning my own happy ending.  Cinderella and Ariel were two of my favorites to watch, but I didn’t like the fact that those Princesses didn’t look like me, in fact, none of them did. It wasn’t until I saw the Princess and the Frog, and finally realized that brown girls can be of royalty too!

I’ve been entangled in a couple of failed “situations”, in which I thought I had my knight and shining armor.  Even though they didn’t turn out as planned, I still raced to sleep at night. After my prayers and talk with God, I closed my eyes and watched the movie reel of my love life, but when I awakened, my fairy god-mother is nowhere to be found. But, I still continue to dream, because I know there is a man out there for me, and one day soon, I’m going to get my happy ending. I know that the cartoons and movies like to sell viewers what they call the “fantasy life”, because they think it’s the closest to what we’ll get to real.

Besides, they think a woman being “swept off her feet” is nothing but a figment of one’s imagination or just a really sweet “dream”. However, I know Kings and Queens do exist, and our significant other is waiting for the day we cross paths. Unfortunately for us, sometimes we allow our impatience to get the best of us, that we go seek the very thing or person, God says is supposed to find us. We’re exhausted, lonely, single and most of all, tired of watching others live happily ever after. Immediately, our thoughts begin to get the best of us, because we can’t understand why their dreams are coming true, and we’re still sound asleep.

Rather than sit still, we become huntsmen and lie in the cut, waiting to attack our prey. Days, months and years go by, and still no “kill”. The moment we give up is the moment we realize why we haven’t caught anyone…..it’s because WE ARE the prey! Men are supposed to hunt for us! In all honesty, that’s why a lot of times we experience some heartache and pain, is because we go and “find” the man we think is right for us, when he’s anything but. Dam*it, we want our happy ending, and we’ll do whatever it takes until we get it, except WAIT!

I know you may be lonely, in need of companionship, watching all your friends get married and have babies, but you can (and will) have it too! You’ve got to be faithful and know that God’s timing is going to be the right time for you! What you see others being blessed with, is because God said it’s their time. Don’t miss out on great opportunities or allow life to pass you by, because you’re too busy obsessing over finding the perfect man. I spent many if not all, of my twenties trying to “find” my husband, when I should’ve been trying to find myself!

I didn’t know who I was until I entered into my thirties, and I’m so finally happy to have met my acquaintance. Silly, right? In all reality, I’m so happy for this “alone time”, because I have so many business endeavors, PLENTY of time to write and work on my goals, as well as being able to travel and go as I please. Let’s be honest, if I were married or in a relationship with children, I wouldn’t be able to go so freely, because my time would have to be spread out equally. That’s why I don’t really stress about love anymore, because I know when the time is right, it’ll (he) find me! Ladies enjoy your me time and keep dreaming, because happy endings still come true!

Writefully yours,

Deetra La’Rue

NO WHITE FLAGS!

“It’s okay to fall down sometimes, just don’t stay there”! ~Deetra La’Rue

People are so quick to throw in the “white towel”, because it’s so much easier to just quit.  However, what they fail to realize is, the moment they give up, they forfeit their hopes and dreams.  Hope nowadays, seem to be the very thing a lot of people don’t have.  As I mentioned in my book, “Let’s TALK”, so many people are okay with falling down and remaining there, because it’s too much of a hassle for them to get back up again. 

Rather than use their strength to get up, they lie there, because they feel as though their situation isn’t going to get any better….which is something they don’t want to face anyway.  Every body has had their fair share of failures, and will probably expect more throughout the course of their lifetime. We all know it doesn’t matter how many times you fall down, as long as you get back up.  For some, getting back up is almost instant and adds fuel to their fire, which gives them the drive they need to succeed. 

For others, falling down just confirms the idea that they aren’t meant to succeed, so what’s the use in trying, right? #Wrong! Our mind wants us to believe that when we aren’t experiencing the success that we envisioned so quickly, we need to “wave our white flags”, because we’ll never achieve our goals.  That’s the problem, too many of us are still waiting on the microwave to go off at any moment now, because it’s much quicker than allowing our hard work to bake, while we sit through and enjoy the process. 

That’s it! Nobody wants to endure the process, they only want the results.  But, how can you honestly appreciate and enjoy your success, if you didn’t do anything to get it? If anything, it should make your success that much sweeter to have, because you know of all the hard work, sweat (stress, yes that too) and tears you put behind it.  Nobody ever said it would be easy, but rest assured, it’ll be worth it in the end! 

So, resist the urge to “throw in the towel” and “wave the white flag”! Success is hard work, and again, it doesn’t equate to how much money you have, so stop beating yourself up about it! Remember, “It’s okay to fall down sometimes, just don’t stay there”! 

Writefully yours, 

Deetra La’Rue

Detours

If you encounter a roadblock, go around it…..If you run into a brick wall, climb over it…..If you come to a closed door, open it! There will be obstacles in your life, but there will be solutions as well! No matter what gets in your way, DON’T GIVE UP, because there’s always a way “around” something! 

I remember being in church one Sunday morning, and the Pastor said, “Your problems have an expiration date and won’t last always”.  That resonated with me, because it was in that very moment that I realized, all that I was going through would be over with soon, but I just didn’t know how soon.  I had encountered a number of roadblocks, and didn’t know how I was going to go around them.  Credit card bills were piling up, I wasn’t making any money, I hadn’t “flown the nest” and quitting my job seemed like the easiest thing to do at that point. Besides, I no longer enjoyed what I was doing. 

After graduating from college and eventually Post-secondary school, I began my quest to find a “career”.  Application after application, I was “denied”, “not qualified” or simply didn’t get a call back.  Although I was met with rejection, I continued to apply, even though I didn’t have any faith that I would be selected, let alone called for an interview, because I had more no’s than I did yeses.  Despite not ever hearing from anyone, I continued in my “pursuit of happiness”.  I’ll admit, after a while, my faith really started to waiver, because I felt as though God had forgotten about me, or was punishing me one. 

Little did I know, I wasn’t being punished.  I was forced to take a slight detour, because the route I was on, wasn’t leading me anywhere, let alone to where God wanted me to be.  While on this detour, I drove down the “road to change”, traveled a little on “new attitude boulevard”, and managed to even cruise on “positive lane”, all the things I needed (and more) to get me around my roadblocks.  Realization had set in, and I knew that in order for me to walk straight into God’s will for me, I had to climb over a few walls, jump over some hurdles and open a lot of closed doors…..especially ones that people told me couldn’t be opened. 

Suddenly, my problems didn’t overwhelm me anymore, because I knew God was bigger than them and would help me overcome them.  As I began to take more detours in life, I reached places that I never thought I would see, encountered people who helped me get through my problems and ultimately became a better person. My life started to change for the better and the problems I thought would last for eternity, had expired.  It was then I played back the words the Pastor had spoke of, “Your problems have an expiration date and won’t last forever”.  I can smile now, because I know he was right! 

No matter how bad or difficult your situation is, it’s not going to be that way forever! It may seem like it’s taking an eternity for things to get better or you may feel as though God is not listening, although you are crying out to Him, but do know that He is! A lot of times we are waiting for God to do everything for us, but He’s waiting on us to just take the first step.  Get out of your comfort zone and move! Stop traveling roads that are familiar to you or simply bring you comfort.  It’s going to take you making a detour every once in awhile, in order for you to end up on the path God has chosen JUST for you! 

Writefully yours, 

Deetra La’Rue

“This is a stick-up”!

So many people are getting “robbed” everyday, and they have no idea that “comparison” is the reason for the stick-up! 

I am sad quite often, and sometimes wonder if my happiness will ever return.  Getting dolled up, putting on my favorite red lipstick and highest pair of heels used to cure the “blues”, but not even clothes can restore my smile.  I’ve somehow allowed my comparison to others to steal my joy. I’m in a pretty good space in my life, and I am on the horizon of being the most successful I’ve ever been.  But, it’s the “success” part that’s getting to me.  

Although I don’t make 6-figures (check back with me in 2019), I consider myself to be pretty successful.  However, I take a look to my left and right, and see that everyone around me are either CEO’s, VP’s or closing major business deals, and here I am just trying to get mine off the ground.  Just like that, 6 days of absolute bliss and happiness from the release of my new book Let’s TALK!, launch of this website and start of my FIRST business, has been overshadowed by what someone else has accomplished. 

Talk about a rip off! Immediately, I say to myself the same exact thing I tell my students, success=HARDWORK and not the amount of money you have! I can’t covet what my neighbor has, because it’s only making me appear less thankful for the things I have.  I come from a very harsh background and am extremely blessed and fortunate to have made it out of my situation.  When I look back on my childhood (or lack of, I should say) I am a CEO, VP and so much more, in comparison to my life then.  I refuse to waste another second of my time dreaming, loathing or being jealous over someone else’s success, when I have so much of my own to be proud of and thankful for!

Chapter 14 in my new book Let’s TALK!, is entitled, “Focus on you, not them”. Just a brief excerpt: “Everybody knows comparison is the thief of joy, and every time you compare your journey to that of another, you lose happiness and ultimately become unappreciative of your blessings.  It’s one ting to admire others success and use it as your motivation to achieve your own, but it’s another thing to want what someone else has, simply because they have it….you’ll never be able to achieve your own goals, because you’re too busy focusing on others”. 

Be happy for others, but don’t allow their success to make you unhappy! Be patient, Rome wasn’t built in a day, so don’t expect your empire to be! 

Writefully yours, 

Deetra La’Rue

Let’s TALK!

When was the last time you’ve had a conversation? 

A lot of times we keep quiet and reserve our opinions, because we don’t want to offend anyone, especially those we love. However, there comes a point in our lives where we have to have some “uncomfortable conversations” with people, although they aren’t easy to initiate.  The things we say are purely for motivational purposes, and although it may sting, it’s what’s needed most. Don’t allow the preservation of one’s feelings to stop you from helping someone who can benefit from your life experiences, wisdom or knowledge, especially if they are struggling with issues you can identify with. Sure, no one wants to be the “bad guy”, but what “good” are you, if you don’t open up your mouth and TALK!

When I wrote this book, I was fearful of what others might say, think, or how they would perceive me even, but I knew I had a lot of things to get off my chest! To be honest, anytime I write, my mind starts to race and wonder if people would like what I say, or hate me for it.  I’ve always been sort of a “people pleaser”, because I just didn’t want to endure the backlash from people, when I didn’t give them their way.  However, as I’ve matured, I don’t focus a whole lot on the things people say about me or how they view me, because I know those are their feelings, and I don’t ever try to make them mine. 

 I know a lot of people may feel like they “don’t know me”, although they know me (if that makes sense), but this book will give them a more in-depth look at me, my life and how I’m able to go on as I do.  Let’s TALK! is basically a collection of different conversations that I have with my readers, in regards to colorism, friendships, walking in God’s purpose, instead of your own, and so forth.  I always tell people, if you are looking for the perfect book on how to be the best YOU possible, then this book is for you.  If not for you, then maybe someone else who is experiencing some tough times, and need reassurance that everything is going to be okay. 

Please support me and purchase a copy (or two) of my book, Let’s TALK! It’s only $16.95 and it’ll be one of the best investments you’ve ever made, and greatest gift you’ve ever given! You can purchase from my website today (see right hand side panel)!! As always, I hope this book does the same for you, as it did for me….give me the courage to do, feel and be anything I always wanted to be, regardless of what others think of me! 

Writefully yours, 

Deetra La’Rue

You’re not late, you’re right on time!

You’re never too old to fulfill your dreams! 

Good Morning my “note” takers! I pray you all are doing well! On Saturday, December 08, 2018, I celebrated the release of my new book, “Let’s TALK” and my new business venture, CH1 Bookstore, Coffee shop and Lounge (coming 2019)! Despite the nasty rain and extremely cold weather, four of my friends decided to still come out and help me celebrate such a joyous occasion for me. I’ve always known I wanted to be a business owner, but I didn’t have the proper resources (still probably don’t), knowledge and drive.  

I’ll admit, I was incredibly lazy, and wanted everyone to do all the legwork for me…even running it! However, because of my controlling ways and OCD, I couldn’t allow “my baby” to be held in the arms of just anyone.  So, I did plenty of research (am still researching) and decided I was going to make this happen! I prayed, and prayed and prayed, and asked God to provide me with the guidance that I needed to successfully run a business, only IF it was His plans! 

After receiving confirmation, I began to think of what I would call my business.  After wrestling with so many names, I finally settled on “Chapters”, but that was not His intention.  Instead, while driving home from dinner one Sunday afternoon, I looked over to the car to my left, and the license plate read, “1CH“.  Immediately, I heard God say to me, “Chapter 1, because it is the start of many more blessings to come“.  I was so overjoyed and overwhelmed by emotions, and I couldn’t process what I heard. 

I knew then, that I had confirmation from God, and with Him on my side, there’s no way I could fail! Besides, I reminded myself of the scripture Jeremiah 29:11, which states of God’s plan for my life.  Even equipped with all of that, I’m still nervous, because I don’t know the first thing about running a business. However, I’ll do whatever it takes to commit myself to my business and making sure it’s successful. 

A lot of times in life, we often talk ourselves out of our accomplishments, because we feel we waited too late or are too old to do anything.  However, you’re not late, you’re right on time! Don’t allow others achieving their goals to stop you from achieving yours, simply because they did it at an early age, and you’re just now getting started.  Everyone has their own journey and go at their own pace, so don’t feel as though you have to keep up with anyone, for fear of falling behind.  

I am 34-years-old, and am just now setting out to accomplish things I’ve always wanted to do since I was a child.  I used to have the same thoughts and feelings of everyone getting ahead of me, which caused me to lose focus.  If anything, it only made me feel bad, because I felt as though they were succeeding and I was doing anything but.  After a lot of soul searching and self-talk, I convinced myself that I can do anything I want to do and be anything I want to be…no matter how old I am! So can you! 

Writefully yours, 

Deetra La’Rue

Tis the “Season”: Out with the old, embrace the new!

If we’re real honest with ourselves, some people are only “temporary delights”. They come into our lives for a moment in time to serve whatever their intended purpose is, and then we should let them go. ~Deetra La’Rue

Relationships can be very fickle, because they’re here one day and gone the next. I never understood what people meant when they spoke of “seasons” from a contextual standpoint. Sometimes my small mind can’t make inferences or “put two and two together”, but I later learned the reference was towards the actual four seasons we may or may not experience (I live in Alabama….trust me, we may get three seasons if we’re lucky). When I learned the clear meaning behind the metaphor, I finally knew the reason why so many people came and went in my life.

Just like the seasons, those particular friendships and relationships had their time limit.  Although a few of them had the luxury of experiencing far too many seasons with me, eventually, I had to change my clothes (let them go) to prepare for the new weather.  I like to be pretty consistent, because sometimes I’m afraid of change, and the unknown that’s associated with it.  That’s probably one of the main reasons why I fell in love with a particular season, and didn’t want to let go to embrace the upcoming one. I knew had I made a change, it meant letting go of the past, which ultimately is what some people have been reduced to.

If we’re real honest with ourselves, some people are only “temporary delights”. They come into our lives for a moment in time to serve whatever their intended purpose is, and then we should let them go.  Notice I said “we should let them go”, because they aren’t going to release themselves.  They’ll stay for as long as we allow, knowing all along they don’t have good intentions, but the benefits they receive are far too good to give up. I found myself entangled in an unhealthy situation for six seasons, because I kept thinking eventually the “weather” would get better. If anything, it didn’t and it only became more dreary and cold.

Besides, he wasn’t going to go anywhere, because he knew what he was receiving from me (i.e. too much time, energy, support, etc.) was too substantial and valuable; something you would think he could get from someone else, but he couldn’t. Let’s face it, no woman or man is/was going to put up with that, unless he or she was in the place I used to be in, desperate and lonely (reserve the judgment and applaud my bravery; I’m trying to be more transparent here). 

When I got tired of trying to hold onto the leaves (people) that the wind (God) was trying to blow away from me, I released my hold and finally just let them go!  They had become discolored, unrecognizable (changed) and was simply not something I needed to keep anymore.  After they were blown out of sight and eventually out of mind, I prepared for what was to come next! I knew I had to release the old, especially to embrace (and appreciate) the new! All along, God had something better for me, but because I kept bringing old people into my new season, I experienced a cold front far longer than I should have.  It took me awhile to see sunny days, because they were constantly being overshadowed by the (unintended) people around me. Nonetheless, I’ve finally got the hang of it, and have no problems letting people go!  

Writefully yours, 

Deetra La’Rue